Oh SUGAR--how do I LOVE thee???

We are slowly getting settled into our new house--but since it's half the size of our old house, I am having a hard time getting everything into its place.  Most of it is still settled in our garage, where I need to make a home for my CAR!  I was feeling antsy this week--like I should be all moved in by now, and things should be organized, but seriously?  It's not like we have a deadline to be moved IN by.  So I decided to try harder to close my eyes, ignore the mess, and have a little FUN over fall break next week instead of worrying about it!  YAY!  Now, in honor of Halloween, and following that, the holiday season, I resurrected this old post I wrote back in 2009--and can I just say that I am struggling with the same weight issues now that I was then? (SURPRISE!) Back up to my yucky weight, and enjoying every minute of it until I finally buckle down and try to get back to a normal diet.  In times of STRESS especially, though--I have a hard time staying away from this stuff:

Oh SUGAR--How do I LOVE thee???
Let me count the ways...

1. OREO--need I say more? I've eaten these little bites of joy since I was a baby--and they will never get old!

2. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Blizzard--my favorite! It has to have just the right amount of chocolate sauce too.

3. Lucky Charms--Can this stuff really be healthy? I mean it has to be at least 90% sugar!!! Want to know the sickest thing? Sometimes I eat all the other stuff, and save the marshmallows to eat last...man--I am sick!

4. KRISPY CREME--A little bite of Heaven! I could seriously down a whole dozen plain glazed without batting an eyelash. Hmmm...that sounds delicious!

5. Brownies--just the cheap dollar boxed mix, and I have to have the corners--all of them!

6. Oatmeal Chocolate Chip cookies--I have the BEST recipe which we have finally perfected. Take them out right before they look done and they are moist and chewy and melt in my mouth! The secret ingredient? A little coconut! Who knew?

7. Even better then brownies? Brownie Sundae!--Outback has the best one--Chocolate Thunder from Down Under...I'm salivating just thinking of it!

8. Applebee's Blondie--oh my gosh this is good--they pour this stuff over the top of it that is like the glaze that you put on a cinnamon roll...YUM!

9. Speaking of Cinnamon rolls--CINNABON! Everytime I'm in the airport I get one--I even bought a dozen once when I was taking someone to the airport and it cost me like $40! That's complete insanity!

10. The only thing better than Cinnabon? WETZEL'S PRETZELS--Sinful Cinnamon pretzel! They drench it in butter and dip it in cinnamon and WOW! This is just tradition when we go to the mall. Messy, but delicious!

11. Froot Loops--I know I am supposed to be eating grown up cereal now, but c'mon--I love those things!

12. Cinnamon Bears--any type, they are sticky and gooey, and probably have caused SO many of my cavities--but I love 'em!

13. Snickers Almond--These used to be called Mars Bars remember??? Did you know they are back?? The best time to get them is Halloween time when they come in the miniatures. I can eat the whole package.

14. Speaking of Halloween candy--Reese's Sticks. Same as above...

15. Pumpkin Pie--My mother in law makes the BEST pumpkin pie--hands down. BUT since she is not here this year--Costco will have to do, and theirs is HUGE and yummy too.

16. The only thing better than pumpkin pie?? Pumpkin BARS! My sister in law Katie makes some mean pumpkin bars--has she made us any this fall?? NO--I mean what does a person have to do to get some yummy pumpkin bars around here?? Beg??

17. Peanut Butter Fudge--One of my favorite Christmas treats...yum.

18. Candy Corn-- Need I say more? This season, I even found Candy Corn flavored POPCORN!

19. Bubble gum--There's just something about a big huge wad of bubble gum and blowing bubbles that makes me feel so young. Love feeling young...don't feel young as much as I used to!

20. Sweet Cakes--if you haven't been to Sweet Cakes Cafe on Main Street in Mesa you are missing out! We have tried probably every one of their cookies and they are ALL yummy, and HUGE! Sorry--but they beat Paradise Bakery cookies hands down.

21. Crackers--Blackberry Cobbler. Probably one of the best desserts EVER!

22. Tootsie Rolls--classic.

23. Rocky Road ice cream--The only kind that's good is the kind with the actual marshmallows--not the marshmallow swirl, yuck. I don't know how they make the marshmallows so they don't get hard--have you ever tried adding regular marshmallows to chocolate ice cream? Don't--it will break your teeth.

24. Coke Zero--I know there's no sugar in it--it's fake sugar, but MAN is this a great treat! Most days this is the best part of my day when I crack open one of these babies! Even better? Cherry Coke Zero! YUM!

25. Are you thinking how sick I am yet? Holy crap--there's MORE! Schwan's Chocolate Fudge Push Em's. I had a poor Schwan's man coming by my house for a few years just so I could score these suckers. We would eat all 36 of 'em in the box in one day! He hasn't come to the new house--but the kids saw a Schwan's truck in Heber last week and were like--hey, let's go get some Push-Em's!

26. Sue's Chocolate Sheet Cake--with german chocolate frosting. It has a hint of cinnamon--and it is to DIE for! Todd won't let me make this cake--it has to be made by him or his mom to be good. That's okay with me...

27. My mom makes the best Christmas treat--click here to find out how to make it:  German Stollen. I don't know why they call it that--because most recipes of german stollen on the internet are like this crappy looking fruit cake stuff--but this is a recipe we grew up making for breakfast on christmas day and it's these beautiful cinnamon roll type dough rolled into a circle with layers and twisted to look really pretty like a wreath. Hard to explain--but they are AWESOME!

28. Hot Tamales--sweet and spicy and YUMMY!

29. M&M's--thanks to my dad for this addiction--he always has an endless supply when we go to his house! My favorite? Peanut--or Peanut Butter!

30. Nutter Butter--I couldn't eat these for the longest time because I ate like 1/2 a package once at a track meet in High School, then I went to run my race--and hucked them all up at the finish line. But now, I have a new love and appreciation for these things...Nutter Butters are BACK!
31. (This one is a NEW one!)  QT Chocolate Long John donuts!  YUM!
32. (One more...since I had one yesterday...)  At Steve's Krazy Sub in Mesa (Power & Main), they have Krazy Kookies, and THRIFTY Ice Cream!!!  For a couple of bucks you get a Kookie sandwich, with a scoop of Thrifty ice cream in the middle!  HEAVEN!!!  We always go get Thrifty chocolate malted crunch ice cream when we are at the beach in the summertime, but for some reason, it's not readily available at stores here in AZ.  When I found out Krazy Sub was carrying it I was THRILLED!  (P.S. Their subs are the BEST in AZ!)

Okay--so has it become clear why I struggle with my weight?  People say, "just give up the sugar..." Yeah, like it's that easy? Maybe for some people--but NOT for me as you can see! I LOVE my sugar--and maybe my dad is right--eat what you want, and die HAPPY! (That man has eaten Oreo's at least 3 times a day, every day, for the last 60 years & he's still kickin!) Now if you don't get up and immediately get something SWEET to eat after reading this...there might be something wrong with you! Man...I am hungry! What's your favorite treat? Am I missing something here?? Let me know--I hate to miss out on a good TREAT!

Why I LOVE my Church!...

Just look at it--it's a beautiful thing really. Pictures of people helping people do the WORST job ever, which is to move all of our JUNK from one house to another. And they did it for FREE. And they did it with smiles on their faces (most of the time--getting the treadmill out of the basement was a little tricky--but not as bad as the couch). They did it for a few measly doughnuts (which another neighbor brought, since I didn't quite get to the store that early in the morning). And someone even took pictures of it (since she reads my blog--and knew I would want to have pictures, thanks Tonya!).  Do you know what else?  We even had people over at the other house, assembling furniture and beds while others moved them in.  And my sweet friends Tonya and Marilyn also came & got my sheets at the beginning and WASHED them all for me, and MADE my beds that someone put together so we weren't up until midnight doing that. Who thinks of that? I may have had all 6 kids sleeping on a bean bag had it not been for those sweet helpers! If that weren't enough--our home teacher also did some drywall repair where we damaged the wall moving the treadmill and couch back up the stairs, and some other sweet friends brought us lunch, AND dinner.  I'm telling you--we were AMAZED at the effort on our behalf.  And all out of the goodness of people's hearts!

We had such a crowd show up for us that I can truly say, it's the best move we've ever made. Truly. And that is saying something, since we have moved A LOT! We are in our 10th house in 18 years--all within a 10 mile radius. That is a lot. Too much. I am so ready to be done moving--it's kind of like having a baby I decided. You look back on it after a few years, and think, "Well, it wasn't THAT bad, and we got a sweet new house out of it". Yeah, what a lie. Moving stinks. Even worse? The moving IN. We are still looking for random crap every day, crap, yes--but crap that we still need. As if life wasn't crazy enough--I don't have time to unpack boxes, and if you saw our garage you would think I belonged on an episode of hoarders! At least it wasn't as bad as the last move--that post is HERE. Oh my, that was a crappy couple of days! This one was a piece of cake compared to that one!

 We had a great spread of breakfast foods, thanks to Tonya and Rita!

 This is our new garage at the BEGINNING of the day.  Imagine 10X all that stuff, and that's what it looked like when we got done!  :)

 Service with a SMILE! :)

 Genius right? You can do this ONLY if you're moving down the street...the freeway would NOT be recommended!

 This is Todd helping remove the door to get the treadmill up those dang basement stairs.  OY.

 Trying to move Erin's dresser down the stairs--oh man that thing is HEAVY.  Turns out, sometimes they actually still use REAL WOOD to make furniture--I love it--but I'm sure they didn't.

 This was me (don't I look lovely)...I'm sure a funner day would have consisted of beating myself silly with that stick I'm holding--don't ask!

I was feeling a little melancholy as we packed up my house. We made some great memories there--and I loved that house, but we have also been through one of the worst trials of our lives this last year, and to tell you the truth, I was so grateful to be rid of that house, and not feel the burden of paying for it anymore, especially with the uncertainty of our legal battles. It makes me sad, but happy at the same time. If there is any one thing I have learned, it is that I am NOT in charge of my life, and I need to trust that God knows what he is doing--and you know what? It's going to be OKAY (more on that HERE). You know my new life motto, "It is what it is!" Erin even wrote that on our quote board this week, the kids have heard me say it enough in the last few weeks that it's sinking in. And it's true. It is what it is. We are where we are. And now it's up to us to make the best out of our situation, to be masters of our own destiny. I love that about life. We can start fresh, anytime. We always have a new day. Let's make the most of it, shall we?

I can say that tonight--because tomorrow, my day will consist of sitting my butt on the couch, in my PJ's, and watching LDS General Conference. Inspired leaders, teaching me how to live a better life, how to raise a better family. A prophet of God, (no, really, they still have those you know), teaching me what God would have us know NOW. For our generation, for our family. Inspired counsel. The Heavens are NOT shut. They are open, now more than ever, and if you listen with a willing heart, God will speak to you, and let you know that it's true. That's why I LOVE my church. If you want to know more, click on my button on my sidebar. Mormon.org is a FABULOUS site for people to learn about us crazy Mormons. You might be surprised that everything you see on TV, or read in Anti-Mormon literature isn't really that accurate. We are pretty normal people, actually. Just like you--only in my case, maybe a little CRAZIER. ♥

Moving...AGAIN...

Moving is TERRIBLE--if you have ever done it, you don't want to do it again, but this time it has been especially ridiculous.  First of all, we have always upsized, and now we are downsizing--by HALF.  Yeah, that means nothing fits.  So we have been to Goodwill a lot today, since I don't feel like bargaining with people I don't know who want to offer me $10 for something I paid $500 for.  Snobby? Yep.  Oh well.  We are already taking it in the shorts on our house, why add to that?  We are sure hoping that with this move, our luck will start to turn around a bit. We were SO lucky to have a friend find us a rental house right in our neighborhood, and it is a really nice house.  It will be really nice to only have to keep one story clean too, so I am looking forward to that--and the electric bill will be under $1000--which ours has been for 3 months now, so that will be AMAZING!  YAY!  Anyway, to say the least, moving sucks, and these pictures pretty much sum up my day today...and we are just getting started!  (We have SO MUCH CRAP!) P.S. The 140 food storage boxes you see (YEP, that's over 800 #10 cans of food) were boxed up by me, moved out of the basement storage room by me, and somehow, Todd put a neighbor to work moving them up the stairs into the garage, and you guessed it, he LEFT to take some things to Goodwill, leaving me and my awesome neighbor to move them all AGAIN (simply the WORST job ever).  I don't know how he gets out of that awful job every time, but I felt like killing him today...but he's no dummy!

 Then, there's my favorite--I found this box in Abby's room and Ashlie had packed it.  We cracked up when we saw how she labeled it.  I would say, she pretty much summed up my life in 4 words, I feel like stamping it on my forehead today:

FRAGILE:  VERY MUCH CRAP.

Now a bonus:  For your viewing pleasure, here is us when we moved into the house 2 1/2 years ago, trying to get our $6000 Creative Leather couch into the gameroom in the basement.  Surprise! It wouldn't go around the corner--and Todd ended up cutting it in half basically, frame and all, and piecing it back together.  Well, guess what we had to do today?  Yep.  We had to get that STUPID COUCH back UP those stairs!  Joke was on us, because if we thought it was a pain in the you know what to get it DOWN, you should have seen us taking it back UP!  Let's just say it was no picnic, and it really wasn't as funny this time...moving makes you CRAZY!

Attitude is everything...

In Sunday School this last week, the teacher related a story about a guy who received a not so nice parrot as a gift.  It really hit home for me, so I wanted to share it.  Here is the story:

The Rude Parrot
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird’s’ mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”
John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, “Um, may I ask what the turkey did?”

Once in awhile, I feel like that rude parrot.  My Heavenly Father is trying to mold me, to shape me, to teach me, and to guide me, and all he meets with is resistance, and every once in awhile, probably a little rudeness and profanity (just keepin' it real) on my part as well!  Sometimes, especially during times of trial, I, like the parrot, have had a hard time understanding that the Lord is only trying to change my attitude--and change my ways.  This last year, however, I have learned that attitude is indeed everything.  When I have been submissive, and humble, when I have let the Lord be in control, I have been happier, and more peaceful.  When I have been controlling and dominant, and tried to tell the Lord how I think things should be, or how I want things to turn out, I have felt frustrated, anxious, and hopeless.  I know the experiences we are having are for my good.  I know that everything happens for a reason.  Most of all, I know that down the road, I will look back on these experiences and see the growth in my testimony, and the changes for good that came because of them for me and my family.  The only thing I think I will regret when I look back, is that I did so much squawking, kicking, and screaming along the way, instead of just trusting and knowing that God was in charge.  Yes, attitude is everything!

Please forgive me if posts are few and far between this next few weeks, I will get back on top of things once we are moved into our new place, and the craziness has subsided somewhat back to our normal levels.  Life happens!  :)

Confessions of a Desperate Housewife...

<-----The picture of a Desperate Housewife!

Okay, so I am about to go on a rant here, so please forgive me--let's just get that out of the way first thing.  Sometimes I get fired up about things, it's just my nature, and I can't help it.  The other day, I saw a promo on TV for the season premiere of Desperate Housewives, and it really got me irritated.  Don't get me wrong, I am not against having a show about desperate housewives--I am, however, against a show that depicts such housewives in such a demeaning manner.  I am certainly no expert on the show, mind you--I have only seen it a few times, and was pretty much turned off by it right away, since it in no way depicts the life of any housewife that I know (and I know a lot of them).  The show pretty much depicts these women as being tramps, who will sleep with any man who walks onto their property, whether it be the landscaper or the pool guy, or the UPS man, it makes no difference.  They also have time in their busy housewife lives to be involved in each other's business, cause drama and fight with one another, and even sleep with each other's husbands at times.  No big deal.  These are women devoid of morals and even general manners, and the show depicts them as basically tramps and whores.  Oh, and all of them are rich too--a must for a desperate housewife, so she can shop to her hearts content!  Why are they this way?  Of course, because they are housewives, and they have nothing better to do with their time!  Don't even get me started on the real life spin-off of Desperate Housewives--the REAL Housewives of (Your City, USA).  Are you kidding me?  The only point of this fabulous show is to show us normal housewives all of the luxuries of life you are missing out on if your husband isn't filthy rich and can provide you the necessities of life that every housewife deserves--you know, like fake boobs, liposuction, botox parties, posh dinner parties, a new Mercedes (just for fun), and most importantly, dropping $5000 on Jimmy Choo boots, or $10,000 on a new handbag.  Sure, because that's how Real Housewives live.  Uh huh!  NOT!  These shows demean, and mock the women on them, and make term of "Housewife" into a joke.  They make it seem as if each housewife is just a selfish, greedy woman, who is in it for whatever she can get from a man (any man).  That is why I can't stand to watch it (sorry to those of you who can get past this & love the show)--but I can't. Watching it makes my skin crawl.

Having said that--here's one thing we CAN agree on.  I am a desperate housewife at times.  There, I said it.  Yes, there are some things that I have been desperate for ever since I became a housewife 15 years ago--and I will tell you here and now what they are:

1. I am desperate for SLEEP!  I haven't had a good night's sleep since I delivered my first baby--and that is no lie.  Something always wakes me up--every night--without fail.  Sometimes it's just a cough or a sneeze from a child.  Sometimes it's a teenager calling because she needs a ride home.  Sometimes, now that I'm older, it's a necessity that I wake up in the night and pee, or take some advil for my aches and pains.  You name it--it wakes me up.  Before I became a desperate housewife, I don't remember ever NOT having a good night's sleep.  I slept like a baby--sometimes until 2 in the afternoon on days off, or Saturdays!  Now I am lucky to pull 4-6 hours in a stretch, and that is even now that I'm done having babies!  Ugh...  This post explains the way I feel most of the time all too well:  (Click HERE).

2. I am desperate for APPRECIATION!  Ask my children--they will tell you how often I complain that no one in this house thanks me for anything.  Sure, I get the mandatory thank you card on Mother's Day--but really?  How hard is it to notice that I clean up after all of them every single day of every single week, of every single month...ok, you get the point.  I don't even need my husband to buy me a new Mercedes or Jimmy Choo shoes to show me he loves me, all I want is "Hey, thanks for doing my laundry, you're swell!" And my kids, once in awhile, could say, "Hey mom, thanks for cooking my dinner, and cleaning my crap up off the floor all the time, you're the best!"  How about that?  Yep, that would be awesome!

4. I am desperate for some VALIDATION! You would think that this falls under number 2--appreciation- but if you read this post, and watch the little movie on validation, (click HERE), you will see that validation means having people actually treat you with respect, like you have something to offer them, not like you're an idiot because you don't go to work every day, and all you do is stay home with your children. Just because I became a mother, and not a law professor, doesn't mean I don't have a brain in my head, or something intelligent to add to a conversation--although I must admit, whether I have something intelligent to say depends on the day, and probably a little on how much sleep I got the night before (see number 1).  But C'mon, give a desperate housewife a break!

5.  I am desperate for LOVE!  ♥ And I am not talking the pool guy or the UPS man--hello?  In real life, are there really pool guys that are attractive enough that you would want to invite them into your house?  I make sure to lock the doors when mine comes over--the thought makes me shudder...ewww!  Plus, hello?  These women on TV have husbands who are obviously filthy rich, and they are sleeping with the pool guy who makes $10 an hour?  How stupid are these women?  Nope.  I am madly in love with just one man--and he's my husband, and the father of my 6 children!  GASP!  How crazy is that?  My only complaint as a desperate housewife, is that when there's 6 kids, and volleyball, and soccer practice, and activity days and scouts, and piano lessons, and laundry, and work, and....you get my drift, when we finally manage to fall into bed at night we are both so exhausted that half the time one or the other is asleep, and we can barely muster the energy for a goodnight kiss!  If I don't have enough energy for my husband, where are these ladies mustering the energy to get it on with the pool guy or the neighbor?  P.S....you know what's even more awesome?  When you finally DO find the time to "be alone", and then comes the KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, at the door.  Of course.  Welcome to desperation.

6.  I am desperate for a VACATION--(see number 5), enough said.

7.  I am desperate for a MAKEOVER!  I'm not talking botox, or liposuction, or fake boobs either.  Nope,  I am just talking about having time to shower on a regular basis, instead of spritzing perfume in my hair and hoping no one will notice that I haven't washed it for 4 days.  I'm talking about finding a moment in the day to excercise without my toddler throwing crap onto the treadmill for me to try to jump over as I jog.  (That post is HERE).  I'm talking about a manageable hairstyle and clothes that fit (since we already established that I don't run on the treadmill as often as I should).  In trying to take a decent picture of myself for this post, I seriously got about 100 shots with my phone at different angles trying to find an angle that looked decent. Every shot I took, I would look at it and go, REALLY?  Is my nose that big?  Is my double chin really that noticable?  Are my eyes really that squinty?  Sad thing is, when I got ready that day, I thought I looked pretty good!  See what we do to ourselves women?  We torture ourselves thinking we need to look perfect!  You can go back on my blog, and you will find very few pictures of me on here for that reason!  I really need to come to terms with myself and the way I look, and accept me for who I am, extra pounds or not, fat cheeks and all!  I'm thinking the makeover I really need is one that comes from the inside first, and the outside will take care of itself!

I'm sure I could add more--but I think you get the point.  So, you see, I AM a desperate housewife--but this does not mean that I am what the shows on TV say I am.  (Thank Goodness!)  The problem with making a show about an actual, real life, desperate housewife like me, is that people would be bored to tears when they get a glimpse of a normal desperate housewife's life!  Especially one who actually *GASP--takes care of her own children all day long!  Here's the deal:  I don't dress up in designer clothes to go to the store, in fact, sometimes I stay in my PJ's all day.  I don't wear $1000 shoes, I wear my $20 flip flops (and I thought those were expensive--but I splurged on TEVA's since they are so comfy and I wear them year round).  I change poopy diapers (sometimes a few times a day--gross), I am faithful to my husband, and we are a pretty boring couple who spend our Friday nights watching disney movies with our kids and running carpools to get teenagers to and from their activities.  I can't afford Botox, and even if I could, what's the point?  If I hardly get out of the house, who is noticing my wrinkles anyway?  On a typical Monday afternoon, I don my Cub Scout Uniform, and have 8 year olds over for an hour to learn to tie knots and awesome things like that.  When I want to really have fun and get crazy, I stay up late, after all the kids go to bed, and watch my TV shows on the DVR, or sit at the computer and rant on my blog about the latest and greatest thing that irritates the heck out of me, or the crazy things that pop into my mind!  Good times!  No, I'm nothing like the Desperate Housewife, or the Real Housewife on TV, and you know what?  I don't think I'm missing out on a thing! Because THIS my friends, the life that I live, is my reality--and even though I am far from perfect--I think my reality is just fine! My kids should know that NO--being a housewife and a mother is NOT glamorous--but that's not why I signed on for this job!  I signed on for this job, because this family--each of my children--are the most important thing in my life, and if I don't raise them, if I don't spend my time on them, if I don't care for them--who else will? 

In one of my favorite quotes of all time about motherhood, President Hinckley said this:

"You have nothing in this world more precious than your children. When you grow old, when your hair turns white and your body grows weary, when you are prone to sit in a rocker and meditate on the things of your life, nothing will be so important as the question of how your children have turned out. It will not be the money you have made. It will not be the cars you have owned. It will not be the large house in which you live. The searing question that will cross your mind again and again will be, How well have my children done?

If the answer is that they have done very well, then your happiness will be complete. If they have done less than well, then no other satisfaction can compensate for your loss."

Being a "housewife", or a mother, or even more important, being a woman,  is so much more than the false images they depict on a meaningless TV show.  It is so much more important, I think, than I can even imagine sometimes.  What I am doing every day, is helping my children, who have been sent to me on loan from God in Heaven, to return to Him with honor. And in that goal, I need not be desperate--because He has promised that I will have all the help that I need! Thank goodness--because as you can see, I need plenty of help!

Almost FALL...

When you live in the desert, like we do, and August and September bring 110 degree temperatures, you sure look forward to FALL weather.  By fall weather, I mean 107 degree highs, and would you believe it? It starts to really drop at night to below 100!  That's fall in Arizona.  I always look forward to Halloween, since by then it seems like the worst of the heat is finally over, and we can actually start to feel a nip in the air, (you know, when it gets down to those chilly 85 degree temperatures)!  So forgive me if I put my Halloween decorations out in the middle of September, and dress up my blog to match--we are DYING out here this year, and man am I looking forward to FALL!  Please fall...could you be a gem and come sooner!

Really...I can't wait--Halloween is my favorite!  I get a little excited about the pumpkins, and the candy, and the costumes, and the candy, and the--wait, did I mention the candy?  Yeah, I pretty much love it all! I'm CRAZY for Halloween!

P.S. Aren't these kids in my header just the cutest kids you've ever seen?  No. Really!  Love them!  ♥
HAPPY (almost) FALL!

My little walker...

So, I found this in my DRAFTS folder & never published it!  Look at my sweet baby starting to walk!  I can't believe how fast he has grown up!  :)

So my sweet baby started walking while we were in Israel, and I didn't really post about it--so here you go! Isn't he the cutest thing--I think YES! Love this boy...

Just Say No?

Sometimes I wish there were 36 hours in a day.  Today was one of those days.  In fact, I think since school started again I have been getting, on average, about 4 hours of sleep each night.  I have always been a night owl, but this is getting ridiculous.  Not only did school start, which brings homework, school projects, and general chaos, (and irritability on the part of parents and children alike), but Todd has been AWOL working on his new business venture (YAY--but BOO--man it's nice to have a husband who helps out around the house, but you sure miss him when he's gone), Emie made the JV volleyball team (YAY--but BOO--I never see that girl anymore), Erin is getting up at the crack of dawn with Emie for A hour, so she is a gem when she gets home (seriously...all she wants to do is go to sleep & I don't blame her), Abby is getting ready to start her NYS volleyball season, Josh just started soccer, which brings soccer practices & games (YAY--but...well you get the point), Ashlie is going to gymnastics soon, and Jack is just EVERYWHERE, (mostly where he isn't supposed to be--ALL the time).  Add to that long list Cub Scouts every week, Activity Days, Visiting Teaching, etc., and then on top of ALL of that--add the fact that we have 2 weeks to be packed & MOVED out of our house, and into our new one!  That's right--sleep is nowhere on my schedule for the next month or so at least.

Now, after reading all of that--don't you think I'm busy enough?  Because, I'm not.  No, there's a voice inside my head that tells me, "Tami, you're not busy enough, so be sure and volunteer your time whenever someone asks you to!"  Will someone please smack that little voice upside the head?  Seriously, I was sitting next to a friend in church this week and they announced that another friend would be needing meals this week.  Despite the fact that I had Cub Scouts on Monday night, and I had already signed up to bring the dinner to Emie's volleyball team on Tuesday night (quite a chore since there are 17 girls on her team), and work concessions at the volleyball game on Wednesday night, along with all our other kids activities--I hear myself blurt out, "I will take a meal in if you need me to."  As soon as I said it, I thought, "What did I just say?"  Surely I wouldn't complicate my life further by volunteering to take a meal in this week of all weeks!  But I did.  I'm not saying I don't love to help people--or to serve others.  I do.  And I do it a lot.  I'm just saying that sometimes my mind is willing, and my body screams out NO!  My heart wants to volunteer for everything--and yet my common sense tells me, "You can't do EVERYTHING!"  I think sometimes it becomes a problem at times for women--we have what I like to call YES-ITIS.  We say "Yes", even when the answer should be a resounding "NO!"  And not because we don't want to help, or serve, but because that week--or that month--or that year--we simply CAN'T do it--whether mentally or physically, because we are just drained!! Sometimes do I use that as an excuse to get out of things I simply don't WANT to do?  Yep.  You caught me.  (Like when they asked for volunteers for team mom this year and I literally slouched down in my chair and waited for someone to raise their hand--and silently screamed with JOY when some mom did!) But most of the time, there are things that I say "Yes" to, when I should be saying "No", if for nothing else, for my own personal sanity!

No doubt there are women who will read this and think, "What's SHE talking about? She stays home all day, and  I do all those things she mentioned, PLUS, I work!"  I have a sweet sister, bless her heart, who is working her tail off at 3 jobs trying to help her husband make ends meet and support their 4 children while they are in school--she is truly a HERO in my eyes!  I have another sister who is a single mother, and works herself to make ends meet, and I don't know how she does it--and I don't think I could do what she has done!  My heart goes out to you--and I do NOT know how you juggle it!  (I blogged about working moms once HERE.)  You are amazing!   Then, there are others, who are even crazier than I am, who have MORE kids, and MORE responsibilities than I do, and still volunteer even MORE of their time to help others, and do it without even complaining!  My other sister has 8 kids, (ages 13 and under), and served first as Primary President, and is now serving as Relief Society President in her ward.  Do you know what this CRAZY sister of mine was doing last Saturday?  She was sweet enough to drive down from Payson and spend the day with ME in my basement, packing up my food storage for our move.  Even while we were packing, she was getting call after call from ward members who needed her assistance or help.  Now THAT, is one amazing lady!  Does she have to do it?  No.  She does it because she has a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and she is trying to do what He would have her do. What amazing examples my sisters are for me! Finally, there are also those who will read this little rant and think, "What's she complaining about--she CHOSE to have all those crazy kids didn't she?" And yes, they are absolutely right--although I can also CHOOSE to complain, can't I? Geez. This is still a free country! :)

So, I sit here at 2 a.m., AGAIN, waiting for a load of laundry to dry, thinking that if I hadn't volunteered my time to do extra things this week, I would probably have had my laundry done, and my house work finished so I could get to bed earlier, and actually get some much needed REST!  Then again, I am also thinking that life is short, and the only things that I am not going to regret at the end of it are those that brought me satisfaction and joy--and serving my family, and my friends and neighbors does just that.  Is it easy or convenient to just say "No" sometimes?  Yep.  But in the long run, it's when I say "Yes" that I feel good about what I've accomplished, and who I've helped in a day--even if it's 36 hours later...  My mom has a quote on her refrigerator that goes something like this, "LIFE IS FOR LIVING--YOU CAN SLEEP WHEN YOU'RE DEAD!" 

That will be the BEST. NAP. EVER.! 

Let the GAMES Begin...

I never knew it was a game, really.  Back in the olden days, (you know, a long time ago, before the crash of 2008), it seemed like most people were like us, and just paid their bills the best they could.  When we signed a note to buy a car, or a house, or a new business, we did our best to pay the bill.  We tried not to overspend, lest we get into trouble and get in over our head.  We had never really heard of short sales, or defaults--I didn't even know what that meant.  Bankruptcy existed, sure, but it seemed like a few years ago, bankruptcies were limited to the very rich and very smart, or the very poor, and down on their luck, not your average joe.  Most people, it seemed to me, just paid their dues, and made the best of life.  Sure, there were people who were down on their luck now and then, there always have been, but not like now.  Now, it seems like it's all a game.  Even people who can afford their bills are trying to get out of paying them.  Why should I have to pay my whole credit card bill, when Joe Shmoe down the street settled his debt for .10 on the dollar?  Why should I stay in the home I bought two years ago, when I can walk away from it, let it go back to the bank, and buy a much nicer, much newer home for less money?  Why am I allowing myself to get taken advantage of when the bank is screwing me?  It has just become the new normal way of thinking.  Now, please don't get me wrong.  I know there are people who are hurting, who are down on their luck, heck, we have been there for the last year.  When the funeral home stopped paying altogether, and our store idea bombed, we found ourselves at the end of our savings, and the end of our rope.  We have had to sell our cars, our boat, our house, just to pay bills and make ends meet and keep ourselves OUT of bankruptcy (barely).  This isn't what I'm talking about, (so please don't be offended, or write me mean emails).  I'm talking about people who are purposefully taking advantage of the system. People who can afford to pay their bills, but won't.  People who can afford to pay their mortgage, but quit.  People who run up debt purposefully, then declare bankruptcy, laughing all the way to the bank. People who buy a business, run it into the ground, and screw other people in the process...get my drift?  
I was listening to Dave Ramsey (LOVE him--his website is HERE) on the radio the other night talk to someone who was complaining of this very thing:
"Dave, my neighborhood has gone to crap.  Half of the homes are vacant, the other half have sold for a fraction of what I bought my house for.  I could walk away from my home, and buy a newer, nicer one down the street for half of what I owe on this house, so am I just a CHUMP for staying here and paying my mortgage every month on a home that's worth half?  Isn't it the bank that's getting the last laugh?"
I was surprised when I heard what Dave had to say to this man: 
"Sure, you could move out of your house and let it go back to the bank, but when you signed those papers, didn't you think your home was worth what you said you would pay for it?" 
Man says, "Well, yes, but then..." 
"No, did you think it was worth it or not?  Can you afford to pay your mortgage?" 
"Yes."
"Are you a Christian sir?"
"Yes."
"So you have morals, and values, and one of those values is integrity, right?"
"Yes, but..."
"But nothing.  If you have morals, and values, and integrity, you do not sell your soul.  You keep your promises.  You keep your promises to God, and that, sir, means you keep your promises to the bank, if at all possible.  It doesn't matter what everyone else is doing.  It doesn't matter what other people think.  What matters, is that when you meet your Maker, you can say to Him, "I kept my promises.  I had integrity.  I tried to be like my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."  That, sir, will be the only thing that matters."
Wow.  I was speechless. Now if only Dave Ramsey could have a that same talk with a few certain people that I know...hmmm.
Tomorrow, we go to court for the first time since filing the lawsuit 9 months ago, against the people that bought our funeral home, and never paid us what they owed for it.  9 months. When we started this process, I sincerely thought it would work itself out in 2 or 3 months tops.  Surely, it wouldn't be hard to get the business back, or at least start taking stuff back to pay the debt owed.  Surely, in such a cut and dry case, with such a well written contract, this would be simple.  Well, welcome to the American way of justice.  What a slow, painful, agonizing, ridiculously expensive, crazy process.  We have had letter after letter, deadline after deadline, bill after bill, and now finally 9 months later, we aren't even to the trial part yet--just going in for a summary judgement, where the lawyers get to argue to the judge for 30 minutes on why the case shouldn't have to go any further--but the judge should just decide.  30 minutes.  A crap shoot really, a roll of the dice, but it's worth a try.  Our lawyer actually told us, "It's just a lawyer thing, really.  You don't really need to come, but you can if you would like to."  Really?  After 9 months of waiting for something--anything to happen, I'm supposed to just sit home and hope my lawyer does a good job, without seeing it for myself?  I'm just anxious to hear someone actually TALKING to a judge instead of sending an email or a letter!  Yep, we'll be there.  It would be nice if that was all it took--but I'm convinced that we still have a long fight ahead, and I hope I'm ready to fight it.  We wish we didn't have to, but when you have a society, that has lost the meaning of morals, and values, and integrity, you have to have hope that somehow, justice will come down on the right side of things. We are hoping for the best, and crossing our fingers that someone, anyone, still knows the meaning of "integrity".  Yikes...wish us luck--we sure need it!  I never have been that good at games...

Bad Sunday...

Yesterday was a BAD Sunday!  When you have 6 children, pretty much every Sunday could qualify as a bad Sunday--but yesterday was particularly bad.  We walked in around 11:35, (late, as usual--but before the sacrament at least), and they were still singing the opening song.  We sat down near the front of the back part of the chapel, since there were so many people out of town for Labor Day.  There are never enough seats in any of the aisles for our family--a sign that we had too many kids--even for mormons, so Erin and Josh sat on the row behind us.  Jack was happily swinging around a ziploc bag full of Captain Crunch Berries and started hitting people with it as we got settled and the opening prayer started. I reached over to try and grab it from him, when--you guessed it--he pulled it away from me and the bag opened mid-air and it was raining Crunch Berries over 4 rows of chairs and families sitting in front of us.  EVERYONE opened their eyes to look at what happened, and you couldn't help but to giggle as people wiped the cereal out of their hair and off their dresses onto the floor.  The babies around us were in heaven, as they scooted and crawled our direction for a FREE treat off the chairs and floor!  When the opening prayer finally ended, I turn to go get a broom from the broom closet and Erin says (not so quietly), "You must not be living right, because this is NOT your day".  Little punk--felt like slapping her, but I held back.  Grabbed a hand broom and dust pan from the broom closet and we went to work cleaning up the mess.  Not 2 minutes later, we turn around to hear Josh cry out in pain.  Erin was holding Jack behind us, and I guess Josh was teasing him, so Erin decided to pinch Josh in the side, hard enough to make him cry.  Nice!  As if the Crunch Berries aren't enough embarrassment for one day?  Todd, not so nicely grabs Josh and brings him up to our row to sit, and I give the death glare to Erin, just as the sacrament hymn gets started.  Really feeling the love for my children at this moment!  Luckily, the rest of sacrament meeting went off without too much more drama, thanks mostly to Emie's friend Kessa who brought her Ipod to church and let Jack play games on it--can I get an AMEN to a good reason to bring an Ipod to church!

Next, I headed to primary, where I was asked to teach Ashlie's primary class.  When I got there, I realized that it was only Ashlie, and one other little boy.  Sweet...how hard could this be?  I would soon find out that this wasn't just a normal little boy--he was one CRAZY little boy, and this crazy little boy had a not so private crush on my little Ashlie!  He could not leave her alone.  If I sat her on one side of me, he would follow, hanging onto her dress, and kissing her mercilessly.  I kept telling him, "Okay, now keep your hands to yourself, there's no kissing at church".  He wasn't listening.  I kept asking Ashlie, "Does he do this all the time?"  Ashlie says, "Yes, even at school.  He's in my class, and I have to have 5 friends around me at recess to protect me from him kissing me!"  Oh my!  I kept trying to hold him off from kissing her, but when I was successful, and he couldn't get to her, he would give up and just spit on both of us.  I tried holding him on my lap, but he would wiggle and squirm even more, and get away.  There were a few moments where he would give up, and sit still, but when I would stop paying attention to him, there he was, back in her face.  It didn't get much better when we went to the classroom.  This kid must have planted a kiss on my Ashlie more than 25 times--and that's when she had me there to protect her!  I'm thinking I probably need to call her school teacher and have a talk with her.  I know my Ashlie is adorable--but I think this kissing is a little out of hand for a 1st grader!  Poor thing!

It didn't get any better when I went home.  The car ride home with my children is always a nice end to a Sunday, as they yell and scream at eachother, because they can't get along for 10 minutes.  There is always someone crying at the end of it, this week it happened to be Ashlie.  But every week, it's someone, (sometimes me) and by the time we get home, I'm ready to kill someone, or send them all to their beds.  So much for feeling the spirit on Sunday--this Sunday that was NOT happenin'.  Oh well, there's always NEXT Sunday, right?  Sometimes I'm not sure why I bother...  Oh yeah, I remember, because I am supposed to be trying to teach my children to be like Jesus, and be nice, and get along, and be kind to eachother.  It's so nice to be reminded every week at church what a terrible job I am doing as a parent!  There's always that reason...

Hanging On Tight...

Sometimes, in life, we have defining moments.  Moments that change who we are as people.  Moments that we realize something about ourselves, or others, that not only change who we are, but can also change who we will become, for better or worse.  We can all look back on our lives and pick out some of those defining moments.  One of those moments for me, came in high school.  I was an "athlete" in high school.  I put that in quotations, because to the rest of the world, I may not have been the best athlete--but in my small town of Thatcher, where I grew up--that was my label.  An "athlete".  I was not particularly talented at any one sport, however, I was mediocre at several sports, and in a small school, you can get by pretty well being mediocre, so I played 3 sports, volleyball, basketball, and track, plus we played church softball pretty much all summer long in my small town.  I think back then, I really didn't realize how mediocre I really was.  I thought I was a pretty good athlete.  I started on most teams I played on, and our teams always did pretty well (mostly because the other teams we played were pretty horrible--but we always thought we were just pretty good!).  I wouldn't go so far as to say I was arrogant, or conceited, I wasn't.  But I was very confident in my abilities, and really never doubted myself.  I was pretty naturally talented at everything I tried, and it really never crossed my mind that there would be something I would ever fail at. 

Then, my defining moment.  My junior year, I was competing at the state championship track meet in several events, and the 4 X 100 meter relay was one of those.  I wasn't the fastest one on our team, but our relay team had won several meets, and that year, we were expected to win state.  I was the first leg of the relay, since I had a pretty quick start out of the blocks, and in the preliminary race, we had broken a state record for the fastest relay time, beating out other schools by almost 2 seconds to qualify for the finals.  I was very confident that we were going to win, which was exciting, since I didn't yet have a GOLD medal from a state tournament yet. I remember that race so vividly.  I can still see the gunfire as the race started.  I felt so quick going out of the blocks, and really felt good running.  When it came time to hand off the baton, something I had done 100 times in practice and in meets, everything felt like it was going just right--until...I missed.  I had the baton in her hand, and I thought she had it, and it just fell.  It was almost like slow motion then, as I watched it fall onto the track.  The other girl grabbed it, and tried to keep running, but in a race that is decided by hundreths of a second, there was no catching up, no redemption, no chance.  The race was lost.  The rest of that whole day was like a bad dream.  I competed almost immediately after that race in the 400M, where I was seeded 3rd in the preliminaries, only to come in dead last in the finals.  I competed in the high jump, and didn't even make half the height of my personal best.  Finally we competed in the 4 X 400 M relay, where we were supposed to come in at least 3rd, but my heart just still wasn't in it, and we did terribly.  I'm not sure if I have ever, even still, 20 years later, felt as low as I felt that day .  It was like it hit me all at once--a voice I had never heard before inside my head.  A voice that said--YOU SUCK.  You can't do it.  You're terrible.  It's all your fault.  Man, that bus ride home was one terrible ride.  3 hours with only a tissue to wipe the tears, and those terrible thoughts running through my head.  I never wanted to see a track, ever again!

The next year, my senior year, track time rolled around way too quickly.  We won a state championship in volleyball that year (my favorite sport by the way ♥), and basketball went great as well, even though we placed low in the state tournament, it was still a good season.  But when it came time for track season to start, my heart just wasn't in it.  I just couldn't go out there after the disaster at state, and face all of those people, and coaches that I felt I had let down.  I was the one who had CHOKED.  How could I possibly try again--and even more frightening, what if I dropped the baton again?  In short, I decided that the two sports were enough, and I was going to sit out track season this time.  It was my senior year anyway, and I was tired, and burned out!  I remember walking by the gym, and seeing all of my friends headed out toward the field to practice, and I just walked quickly the other way, hoping no one would notice.  I walked home, and fixed myself a snack, and just vegged on the couch--a rare luxury, since there was pretty much NEVER a time in 4 years of high school that I wasn't playing a sport!  This isn't going to be so bad, I thought.  Not bad at all.  Then I heard a truck pull into the driveway.  I'll never forget looking out the window to see who was there, and seeing Mr. Phillips, my track coach, getting out of his truck, and heading to my front door.  My first thought was to hide--and see if he went away.  But I saw him catch my eye as I was getting out of the blinds--and I knew he saw me there.  I was caught.  I will never forget the conversation that followed.  I opened the door, and Mr. Phillips says, "I just came to see why you aren't at track practice?"  I said, "Well, I decided I wasn't going to go out this year, seeing as last year was such a disaster."  He said, "So you're going to just quit then?"  I was like, "Well, I'm not really quitting--I'm just not going to go out.  I have a lot going on, and I just thought it would be better if I didn't run track this year."  He says, "Tami, I really misjudged you.  All these years I've  known you, I have never thought of you as a quitter.  It's too bad really, to let a dropped baton stop you from achieving something great, I expected better from you."  I know my face was red and hot, since I could feel myself sweating.  Then he said this:  "You can let that dropped baton stop you from coming out for track this season, or you can decide that no matter how many times you drop that baton, you will still have the pride and the determination to pick that baton up and keep running.  You may think this is only a decision that will affect you this year, only for a track season.  The way I look at it, this decision will affect the way you live the rest of your life.  Tami, are you a quitter, who drops the baton, and leaves it there on the track and walks away, or are you the type of person who decides that one lousy dropped baton isn't going to stop me from reaching my dreams.  There are two types of people in life, there are achievers, and there are quitters.  Which one are you?"  Talk about a defining moment.  I walked into my room, changed my clothes, put my tennis shoes on, and rode with my coach to practice. 

It's almost surreal when I think about that experience today.  What a wonderful coach, and man that was to take the time to leave track practice, seek me out, and motivate me to do what I needed to do.  That year was a turning point for me.  I set my mind on a goal to ACHIEVE, not to fail.  That year, our 4X100 relay took the state champion gold medal, with me running the first leg of the race again.  I took 2nd place in the 400M with my best time of 58.2 seconds, only losing by a tenth of a second.  Our 4X400 relay took a gold medal as well. I even took 5th in state in the high jump--finally clearing 5'6"--a personal best (and 1 inch taller than me!) Because of one person, my life, and my attitude would never be the same.  I learned that deep down, I was NOT a quitter.  I could get back up, and do better, no matter how many times I fall.  That's what I love about sports, there are so many lessons we learn from competing.  It's also what I love about a good coach, they can motivate you on and off the field to accomplish great things, and to be your best self.

Lately, we have had some struggles. (DUH-like I haven't complained about them enough).  As I get ready to pack up and move away from the home that I was sure would be my last, (to where I'm not really sure yet) and start over in a business that is like the first--all the while trying to fight a legal battle I'm not sure we'll win, and settle debt that has racked up during our failed business attempts--I'm really not sure how things are going to work out.  I am sure of one thing, however, and that is: I am NOT a quitter.  I might get knocked down, I might get bloodied, and bruised, and I might drop the baton from time to time, but I will pick it up and keep running.  We are always going to have set backs, we will always have struggles, but this life is NOT a race to the finish!  We can take our time, we can start again, we can learn from our mistakes.  If I have learned anything in my life, it's that I can do hard things.  We never WANT some of the challenges we are faced with--but we can face them head on, and fight, and with any luck (and a LOT of prayer and faith) we will come out on top.

During the awards banquet my senior year, my coach Mr. Phillips, made me a special plaque.  It was a "Handoff Award", and glued to the top was that dented, dirty, dinged up old relay baton that I had dropped my junior year.  Under the inscription Handoff Award were the words, "For hanging on tight--even when it's hard"  A lesson I will never forget.

Money make$ the world go round...or doe$ it?...

This post has been in my head for a long time, but not written on paper, or spoken aloud, in case someone could hear.  Money is a funny thing.  It's not the easiest thing to talk about, yet everyone deals with money problems at one time or another in their life.  Sometimes the people having the most problems are the ones you would never know about, the ones who's life looks seemingly perfect from the outside, but is imploding on the inside. You have to be careful when you look at someone and make a snap judgement about their life--you might be surprised to find out what struggles they actually have, especially when it comes to money.  When you look up quotes on money, it's funny how true some of them are--and how ridiculous some are too!  Here are a few that I found interesting to ponder:
"Early to bed, early to rise, keeps you healthy, wealthy and wise." - Benjamin Franklin
I have already blogged about this one--HERE.  I still think it's a load of crap--but maybe my problem with the early rising is that I am sitting here blogging at 2 a.m. instead of peacefully sleeping! You think?  (In my defense, Todd is on a campout--and I can't sleep without him here--something about 18 years of having him next to me in my bed--my routine gets all screwed up when he's gone).
"For I don't care too much for money, for money can't buy me love." - The Beatles
Now this one is true to a point, however, I think that sometimes my husband buys my love--in the form of treats, or gifts, and I see nothing wrong with that!  Hint Hint.  Just kidding.  Well, maybe.  Well, okay not really--I do love my husband to buy my love once in awhile! 
"Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort." - Helen Gurley Brown
Now, I don't know who Helen Gurley Brown is...but can I say AMEN sister!  I agree that it's not money that brings happiness--but the lack of money sure can bring frustration, stress, and anxiety to say the least.  There certainly has to be a balance where you have enough to meet your needs, (and a few little wants, c'mon who are we kidding), but there is probably never a point where most people will say they have "enough", which is where the unhappiness comes in.  We need to shoot for a happy medium people!
"If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to." - Dorothy Parker
Okay, this one made me laugh out loud!  You do have to admit that most of the super, ultra wealthy people out there don't seem like people I would want to be friends with (just sayin').  Plus, look at the greed it takes to get to the top.  Again, happy medium.
 "My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income." - Errol Flynn
HA!  Mine too!  This is where the B-word comes in.  In our house, BUDGET is sometimes a 4 letter word!  It's something we have never gotten quite right.  We have managed our resources pretty well for the most part--but sticking to a budget has been hard for both of us!  We are still trying--and lately we have pretty much been forced to stick to it, so that makes me think that this challenge with the funeral home and the lawsuit is meant to teach us to take better care of our money, and to be careful who we trust.  Good lessons, but hard lessons nonetheless.
"Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it." - Rebecca Johnson
Isn't that true?  How often have you started out a conversation with, "So, I'm broke, how 'bout you?" or "Man, we are really having a hard time paying the bills this month".  People would look at you as if you were insane!  Yet, I have found that it has been so helpful to have conversations with people about our situation--and I really believe that our misfortune has caused many of our family members and even some good friends to learn lessons they may not have learned about taking care of their money, and the importance of making good investments, and again, watching who you trust!  You're welcome!  So happy our situation has benefited SOMEONE.
"Money will come when you are doing the right thing." - Mike Phillips
Well, true and not true.  I believe that prosperity will come to you, blessings will come to you, and good fortune will come to you when you are doing the right things.  That doesn't mean that you will always have money.  There are some VERY good people who are never wealthy as to things of this world.  Look at Joseph and Emma Smith.  They seemed to never have enough money, and yet made things work despite that.  The Lord blesses us in many ways--not always with money.  You have to open your eyes and look for those blessings--they are there!
"The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any." - Katharine Whitehorn
The hardest thing for me is to have my children go without something.  Stupid, I know.  Children should be taught that going without is okay--and that the most important things are NOT just those things you can buy.  It's sure hard in this material world that we live in to teach that principal though, and tightening the belt and living on a budget does help them to learn that the world does not owe them anything--they need to get out and make their way.  The last thing I want is to have spoiled, entitled children--so sometimes going without is a blessing in disguise.
"Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." - Will Smith
This coming from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air?  Wha??  Actually, I totally agree.  The "Bigger and Better Bandwagon" has gone far enough--time to get off.
"Money is like love; it kills slowly and painfully the one who withholds it, and enlivens the other who turns it on his fellow man." - Kahlil Gibran
I'll tell you, as we have looked back over the years, the money we have regretted spending was on purchases that were frivolous, or meaningless.  The money we have always been glad to spend was money to help someone, even if we didn't get it back.  I can truly say that is the best money we ever spent--and it always has given us such a feeling of satisfaction when we have been of help to someone. The best way to help is in SECRET.  It's the best feeling in the world to leave them guessing. I believe it will always come back to you 10 fold.
"The art of living easily as to money is to pitch your scale of living one degree below your means." - Sir Henry Taylor
Totally agree--but we are going to try two degrees this time around, so that if one degree wasn't enough (or someone screws you), you have a little more of a nest egg-- thank you very much!
"Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one." - Benjamin Franklin
And vacuums SUCK!  (HA!)  That's that Bigger/Better thing--again, we need to reach a happy medium and be CONTENT!  Easier said than done, I know.
"The glow of one warm thought is to me worth more than money." - Thomas Jefferson
Ummm...Mr Jefferson, if you ever actually ran out of money--the glow of one warm thought will NOT put food on the table--I'm just sayin'. 
"Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God - the rest will be given." Mother Teresa
What a wise woman indeed!  I love that!  And finally, here's my favorite:
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. " Lana Turner
I'm not sure who this Turner woman is either, but I think we could hang out!  HA! 
There--was that so hard?  We can talk about these things--and we should.  You might be surprised at how good it feels to let it all out!  Phew!  In many ways, we are starting from scratch in our situation, and I feel like we are being given a chance to show Heavenly Father that we can do a better job this time.  I am looking at the business, the lawsuit, the move, all as a clean slate.  We are being allowed a fresh start.  When I write my story this time--I want to be more careful about how I think about, talk about, and perceive money.  It truly is a gift to be able to have enough.  I will not take it for granted again.
Back to my title--So, does "money make the world go round"?  Actually, I think that quote is one of the stupidest quotes I have ever heard.  The world goes round because God designed it that way--duh.(And if Emie was awake in these the wee hours of the morning--she could explain the physics of that answer to you I'm sure--but alas, she isn't available--so just google it if you're curious).  Now aren't you glad we got to the bottom of that age old stupid question?  Well, you're welcome!

About Trust...

It has been one of those weeks for me this week, where I just wanted to hide.  Sometimes, the problems are too much, and I just want to go into a dark room and shut them out, pretend my life is back to normal and free of worry.  But it's not.  The kids are back to school, and the house is quieter.  There has been less to do (YAY!), but more time to myself to think and worry (Ugh...).  There has been more bad news than good, and it was getting to me.  I made it to the temple this week, after I dropped Jack off at preschool on Thursday, and I really needed that for my peace of mind.  Things lately have gotten to the point of desperation.  We have been trying to sell the house, to no avail.  The lawsuit is going as slow as humanly possible, justice, indeed moves at a snails pace (and at an expensive hourly rate no less).  Todd is working on getting back to work, but that, too, is a process that won't happen overnight.  We have sold pretty much everything we can, just to make ends meet, the cars, the boat, the timeshares, anything worth anything is just gone, and with it, my hope was nearly gone as well. As I sat in the Celestial Room, I poured my heart out to my Heavenly Father, desperate for an answer, any answer.  As I sat there pondering, I picked up the Book of Mormon, opened it, and started to read.  I opened up to Helaman Chapter 12, which begins with, "And thus we can behold how false and also the unsteadiness of the hearts of the children of men;  yea, we can see that the Lord in his great infinite goodness doth bless and prosper those who put their trust in Him."  I don't care what anyone says, anytime I open the scriptures and just start reading, it is not a coincidence that the scripture that I find is the one that I NEED.  Each time, I am amazed.  But really, I have always known.  He is there, He cares, even when He can't fix everything for us, people have their free agency after all, He is aware of our situation, and He cares.  When you read the rest of this chapter, it is a powerful rebuke of the people, for they have become wicked, and unrighteous.  The prophet is warning them, and letting them know that they need to change their focus, and rely on the Lord.  I think, for me, it was a little bit of a wake up call.  I think many times throughout this year and last, my trust and faith have wavered.  It wasn't that I ever thought that God couldn't fix our problems, I know God can do anything.  I was just frustrated that God wouldn't fix our problems, not in the way I wanted Him to anyway.  Not MY way.  Not in MY time. The church down the street by our house had this quote on it for the last month, and I got to drive by it a bunch of times, so it stuck: "God is not limited by our circumstances."  I love that.  Something that I have struggled the most with is just trusting Him, and letting Him have control.  I am not good at handing over control.  Never have been.  Not as a child, not as a wife, and certainly not as a parent. Verse 6 describes me perfectly:  "Behold, they do not desire that the Lord their God, who hath created them, should rule and reign over them;  notwithstanding his great goodness and his mercy towards them, they do set at naught his counsels, and they will not that He should be their guide."  Ouch. How foolish am I to think that I know better than my Creator for crying out loud?   It goes on to talk about God's great power, and how he can do ANYTHING he wants to do.  God is NOT limited by our circumstances!  Why do I refuse to put my trust in Him?

When I got home, I texted Todd and told him we needed to change the price on the house, to get more people to come and see it. Selling the house is really our last hope to have the money we need to start a new business, pay our bills, and see this lawsuit through.  We had maybe 5 people come look at it all summer--and no interest whatsoever.  They changed the price, just bringing it down a little, and within a few hours, we had 4 people call to see if they could come and see it.  Friday, we had a realtor call us, and their clients had seen the house 2 years ago, before we bought it, and she said she was sending over an offer, before they even came to look at it again.  Much to our surprise, the offer was for the full price we were asking.  We have received offers before, but they were $150,000-200,000 LESS than our asking price, and nowhere near where we needed to be to be able to pay the bills and debt that we have racked up in this lawsuit.  They came to see the house later Friday afternoon, and said they were even more excited, because of all the remodeling (you can see the before & after HERE--we did a TON of work on this house) and wanted to close in a month.  Can I just tell you what a miracle a full price offer is in this market?  It's a reduced price, for sure, and we are surely losing money on the deal, but still--it is a miracle.  Yes, the Lord is aware of us.  We just have to be patient--(which is not one of my strong points), and sometimes...even at the last possible moment, a tender mercy will come.

We are not out of the woods--but a tremendous weight has been lifted, knowing that by selling the house, we will have the means we need to support our family.  It doesn't fix everything, but it helps.  There will be some hard moments ahead.  The thought of packing, and moving, again--(the 140 boxes of food storage alone) is tough.  I have a knot in my stomach just thinking about it, even though I know that it's the right thing to do, in fact, the only thing we can do.  We put so much of US into this house.  It was supposed to be our last, and I will miss it.  I'm not looking forward to trying to get used to a new home, or a new ward.  This move might be the hardest, since in so many ways we are starting over from nothing, and it's the first time we have HAD to move, not wanted to move, or chosen to move.  It is a hard pill to swallow, losing everything that we've built over the years.  And yet, haven't I promised that I would be willing to do just that?  Give everything up if I had to?  After all, they are just things, I have to keep reminding myself.  Just things--the  house, the car, the boat, even the business, they are things.  My family is still the same, my children are all OK, and that is what is important.  No, it will not be easy, but we will work through it.  We are strong, even if I have moments (or whole weeks) when I waver in my heart, when I question the plan, when I wonder if it will all work out, deep inside I know that  I am strong and my testimony is intact.  We have been through so much to make it to where we are, a little bump in the road, (okay--maybe a BIG bump in the road, but still...) isn't going to kill us. And what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, right?  I sure hope so. 

Ashlie is a HAPPY CAMPER!...

This was Ashlie's first homework assignment that we were to complete together.  I don't remember doing many of these with my parents--but then, I don't remember a lot of things (like what I had for breakfast this morning, or my kids' names, or where I put my toothbrush, or...well, you get the point).  We had a lot of fun decorating her little person.  The theme was "Happy Campers in the First Grade".  This is what we came up with:

And we even turned her in ON TIME!  Usually group homework projects are done on mom's spare time--which means they are inevitably LATE!  Isn't she darling!  Love it!

All Wiped Out...

This picture was taken on the first day of school.  These girls came home, had a snack, and then pretty much collapsed onto the couch and fell asleep watching "Say Yes to the Dress".  Oh how much they miss summer already!  Poor teenagers!  This is Emie's friend Taylor and Erin.  Don't they look comfy?  Love these girls!

Jack's First Day of School!...

It's official!  I now have ALL my kids in school!  Well, Tuesdays and Thursdays anyway, from 9-12!  What the heck am I going to do with myself for 6 hours every week?!?  Some might say I should volunteer in the other kids classrooms, or work on housework or laundry, but I am thinking I just might take some time for ME!  Selfish much?  Uh huh!  Tell me when in the last 15 years of child rearing have I ever gotten 6 hours a week for ME?  I am just a little excited, can you tell?  HA!  Actually, I am looking forward to getting to the temple every week, and taking some time to actually feel some peace & quiet in my life on a regular basis.  I really need it right now.  Peace has been hard to come by with all of the trials in our life at the moment, and Quiet?  Are you kidding me?  I have 6 kids--there is no such thing!  Sad thing is--when I do finally get to the temple, all that peace and quiet is sometimes too much to handle, and I totally zonk out!  ZZZzzzzzzz.  Oh well, at least I'm there right?  I'll keep telling myself that!
Jack was so cute when I was taking his picture--he just wanted to GO!  He was very concerned that I take a picture of his awesome Spiderman backpack, though.  Very cool.  Here is a story from his first day at preschool that his teacher, Dawn Spier (who I LOVE) put on Facebook yesterday:
"Here's a funny: I was reading "No David" to my 3 yr old class...and if you haven't seen this book, the kids laugh so much...so, I was on the page that shows David with his finger up his nose, and his mom says, "no David," and most of the kids said, ewe, or yuck...but one of my 3 yr old cuties, said: "I do that all the time, and then I eat them!" Oh my goodness, you had to be there! I LOL!!!"
Oh wow.  How I hope that wasn't my son!  Sounds like him though--I catch him on a regular basis digging for GOLD, and then tasting his find. BLAH!  Sad thing is, I don't scold him much.  By the 6th kid, you know it won't kill them, and it's just a phase.  In Kindergarten, if you're still eating your boogers--other kids will let you know, in no so polite ways--that that is GROSS!  You learn a lot that way in Kindergarten!  :)  Love you Jack!  So proud of you, my BIG BOY! 
P.S.  You might remember this post HERE from the first week of school LAST YEAR, when I was trying to potty train my boy.  Well--that didn't last long...  He wasn't ready (surprise).  But I am proud to say, as of this week--he is finally starting to catch on, just a YEAR later--and I will finally be DONE changing diapers once and for all!  Can I get a HOORAY!  :)

 This is him giving me his KILLER wink that he gives all the cute girls he flirts with!  Love that my 3 year old still thinks I'm the coolest mom ever, and that I am WINK WORTHY!  He'll figure out sooner or later what a mess I am, but for now--I ROCK!  And so does he!  :)