Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Just Say No?

Sometimes I wish there were 36 hours in a day.  Today was one of those days.  In fact, I think since school started again I have been getting, on average, about 4 hours of sleep each night.  I have always been a night owl, but this is getting ridiculous.  Not only did school start, which brings homework, school projects, and general chaos, (and irritability on the part of parents and children alike), but Todd has been AWOL working on his new business venture (YAY--but BOO--man it's nice to have a husband who helps out around the house, but you sure miss him when he's gone), Emie made the JV volleyball team (YAY--but BOO--I never see that girl anymore), Erin is getting up at the crack of dawn with Emie for A hour, so she is a gem when she gets home (seriously...all she wants to do is go to sleep & I don't blame her), Abby is getting ready to start her NYS volleyball season, Josh just started soccer, which brings soccer practices & games (YAY--but...well you get the point), Ashlie is going to gymnastics soon, and Jack is just EVERYWHERE, (mostly where he isn't supposed to be--ALL the time).  Add to that long list Cub Scouts every week, Activity Days, Visiting Teaching, etc., and then on top of ALL of that--add the fact that we have 2 weeks to be packed & MOVED out of our house, and into our new one!  That's right--sleep is nowhere on my schedule for the next month or so at least.

Now, after reading all of that--don't you think I'm busy enough?  Because, I'm not.  No, there's a voice inside my head that tells me, "Tami, you're not busy enough, so be sure and volunteer your time whenever someone asks you to!"  Will someone please smack that little voice upside the head?  Seriously, I was sitting next to a friend in church this week and they announced that another friend would be needing meals this week.  Despite the fact that I had Cub Scouts on Monday night, and I had already signed up to bring the dinner to Emie's volleyball team on Tuesday night (quite a chore since there are 17 girls on her team), and work concessions at the volleyball game on Wednesday night, along with all our other kids activities--I hear myself blurt out, "I will take a meal in if you need me to."  As soon as I said it, I thought, "What did I just say?"  Surely I wouldn't complicate my life further by volunteering to take a meal in this week of all weeks!  But I did.  I'm not saying I don't love to help people--or to serve others.  I do.  And I do it a lot.  I'm just saying that sometimes my mind is willing, and my body screams out NO!  My heart wants to volunteer for everything--and yet my common sense tells me, "You can't do EVERYTHING!"  I think sometimes it becomes a problem at times for women--we have what I like to call YES-ITIS.  We say "Yes", even when the answer should be a resounding "NO!"  And not because we don't want to help, or serve, but because that week--or that month--or that year--we simply CAN'T do it--whether mentally or physically, because we are just drained!! Sometimes do I use that as an excuse to get out of things I simply don't WANT to do?  Yep.  You caught me.  (Like when they asked for volunteers for team mom this year and I literally slouched down in my chair and waited for someone to raise their hand--and silently screamed with JOY when some mom did!) But most of the time, there are things that I say "Yes" to, when I should be saying "No", if for nothing else, for my own personal sanity!

No doubt there are women who will read this and think, "What's SHE talking about? She stays home all day, and  I do all those things she mentioned, PLUS, I work!"  I have a sweet sister, bless her heart, who is working her tail off at 3 jobs trying to help her husband make ends meet and support their 4 children while they are in school--she is truly a HERO in my eyes!  I have another sister who is a single mother, and works herself to make ends meet, and I don't know how she does it--and I don't think I could do what she has done!  My heart goes out to you--and I do NOT know how you juggle it!  (I blogged about working moms once HERE.)  You are amazing!   Then, there are others, who are even crazier than I am, who have MORE kids, and MORE responsibilities than I do, and still volunteer even MORE of their time to help others, and do it without even complaining!  My other sister has 8 kids, (ages 13 and under), and served first as Primary President, and is now serving as Relief Society President in her ward.  Do you know what this CRAZY sister of mine was doing last Saturday?  She was sweet enough to drive down from Payson and spend the day with ME in my basement, packing up my food storage for our move.  Even while we were packing, she was getting call after call from ward members who needed her assistance or help.  Now THAT, is one amazing lady!  Does she have to do it?  No.  She does it because she has a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and she is trying to do what He would have her do. What amazing examples my sisters are for me! Finally, there are also those who will read this little rant and think, "What's she complaining about--she CHOSE to have all those crazy kids didn't she?" And yes, they are absolutely right--although I can also CHOOSE to complain, can't I? Geez. This is still a free country! :)

So, I sit here at 2 a.m., AGAIN, waiting for a load of laundry to dry, thinking that if I hadn't volunteered my time to do extra things this week, I would probably have had my laundry done, and my house work finished so I could get to bed earlier, and actually get some much needed REST!  Then again, I am also thinking that life is short, and the only things that I am not going to regret at the end of it are those that brought me satisfaction and joy--and serving my family, and my friends and neighbors does just that.  Is it easy or convenient to just say "No" sometimes?  Yep.  But in the long run, it's when I say "Yes" that I feel good about what I've accomplished, and who I've helped in a day--even if it's 36 hours later...  My mom has a quote on her refrigerator that goes something like this, "LIFE IS FOR LIVING--YOU CAN SLEEP WHEN YOU'RE DEAD!" 

That will be the BEST. NAP. EVER.! 

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