Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Hard Things...

Easter weekend was spent traveling to the cabin for a youth overnight for our stake girls camp, and to my sister's house in Payson, (pictures coming...) so I spent the time in the car reading this: (on my Kindle Fire--which I absolutely LOVE--and can never live without again)!
"Heaven is Here",  by one of my favorite bloggers, (her blog is HERE) and one of my heroes, Stephanie Nielson.  And can I just tell you how much I LOVED it!  She is a wife and mother of 4 young children, who started blogging when it was a fairly new thing to do.  She had many readers, and fans, when she and her husband were involved in a fiery plane crash that burned her over 80% of her body, and almost killed her. This book is amazing simply because Stephanie is amazing.  Through the toughest of circumstances, pain, and near death, she held on, and held out hope that she could rebuild her life, and raise her children. She also relied on her faith in Jesus Christ, and the healing power of the Atonement in her life to make her whole again.  What an amazing example of faith! She is a beautiful person, inside and out. 

Since we have gone through a lot the last two years during this lawsuit, and almost bankruptcy because of it, I have enjoyed reading books about people who have faced tough circumstances, and held on to their hope, and their faith in God through them. I have read several books about the Holocaust, and books about pioneers with their amazing devotion and faith. Reading these inspirational stories and books has buoyed me through so much of what we have been through.  It has taught me that I too, can do hard things, hold on to my faith, and persevere.  Speaking of  hard things...we drove to the attorneys office to start depositions in our case this morning, and as we were stuck in traffic, I was looking at my Latter-Day Words of Wisdom app on my phone.  It's awesome--a treasury of quotes from LDS leaders over the years that you can look through and share via text or email.  This is the quote I read:

“No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God . . . and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven.”  Orson F. Whitney

I would have rather been just about anywhere today, than in a lawyers office listening to a deposition. In fact, sometimes, I look at what happened to us, and it seems surreal, just like a bad dream.  But if I believe in a loving Heavenly Father, and I do, with all my heart;  then I believe that all that we have been through, each and every experience, will be for my good, and for my benefit.  And although I don't see it now, someday I will look back through my life and see that these trials strengthened and refined my faith like nothing else could have. the Lord is the only one who sees the whole picture, and I need to put my trust in Him!  As for the forgiveness that I blogged about a few weeks ago, HERE, well, let's just say I am still working on it.  As I listened to that deposition, of this man, who's actions have caused so much pain for my family, all of those feelings of anger and frustration came bubbling back up inside of me.  I felt it an accomplishment that I was able to smile at him, and keep my feelings to myself for the most part.  A year ago, I may have come unhinged just to be in the same room with him--that's some progress right? As for Todd, can I tell you what an amazing man I married?  He is such a great example to me of forgiveness and grace.  He shook the man's hand, and even congratulated him on his recent re-marriage.  I didn't have it in me to do that, so kudos to him for being the bigger person.  I just hope I am getting better day by day, and with God's help, I know that I can.   

1 comment:

Ed said...

You too have been amazing to look to through hard times. Thanks for being that same example to others! And wow, I am impressed you were able to stay calm while seeing that man face to face! Good job!!

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