Sunday, September 18, 2011

Confessions of a Desperate Housewife...

<-----The picture of a Desperate Housewife!

Okay, so I am about to go on a rant here, so please forgive me--let's just get that out of the way first thing.  Sometimes I get fired up about things, it's just my nature, and I can't help it.  The other day, I saw a promo on TV for the season premiere of Desperate Housewives, and it really got me irritated.  Don't get me wrong, I am not against having a show about desperate housewives--I am, however, against a show that depicts such housewives in such a demeaning manner.  I am certainly no expert on the show, mind you--I have only seen it a few times, and was pretty much turned off by it right away, since it in no way depicts the life of any housewife that I know (and I know a lot of them).  The show pretty much depicts these women as being tramps, who will sleep with any man who walks onto their property, whether it be the landscaper or the pool guy, or the UPS man, it makes no difference.  They also have time in their busy housewife lives to be involved in each other's business, cause drama and fight with one another, and even sleep with each other's husbands at times.  No big deal.  These are women devoid of morals and even general manners, and the show depicts them as basically tramps and whores.  Oh, and all of them are rich too--a must for a desperate housewife, so she can shop to her hearts content!  Why are they this way?  Of course, because they are housewives, and they have nothing better to do with their time!  Don't even get me started on the real life spin-off of Desperate Housewives--the REAL Housewives of (Your City, USA).  Are you kidding me?  The only point of this fabulous show is to show us normal housewives all of the luxuries of life you are missing out on if your husband isn't filthy rich and can provide you the necessities of life that every housewife deserves--you know, like fake boobs, liposuction, botox parties, posh dinner parties, a new Mercedes (just for fun), and most importantly, dropping $5000 on Jimmy Choo boots, or $10,000 on a new handbag.  Sure, because that's how Real Housewives live.  Uh huh!  NOT!  These shows demean, and mock the women on them, and make term of "Housewife" into a joke.  They make it seem as if each housewife is just a selfish, greedy woman, who is in it for whatever she can get from a man (any man).  That is why I can't stand to watch it (sorry to those of you who can get past this & love the show)--but I can't. Watching it makes my skin crawl.

Having said that--here's one thing we CAN agree on.  I am a desperate housewife at times.  There, I said it.  Yes, there are some things that I have been desperate for ever since I became a housewife 15 years ago--and I will tell you here and now what they are:

1. I am desperate for SLEEP!  I haven't had a good night's sleep since I delivered my first baby--and that is no lie.  Something always wakes me up--every night--without fail.  Sometimes it's just a cough or a sneeze from a child.  Sometimes it's a teenager calling because she needs a ride home.  Sometimes, now that I'm older, it's a necessity that I wake up in the night and pee, or take some advil for my aches and pains.  You name it--it wakes me up.  Before I became a desperate housewife, I don't remember ever NOT having a good night's sleep.  I slept like a baby--sometimes until 2 in the afternoon on days off, or Saturdays!  Now I am lucky to pull 4-6 hours in a stretch, and that is even now that I'm done having babies!  Ugh...  This post explains the way I feel most of the time all too well:  (Click HERE).

2. I am desperate for APPRECIATION!  Ask my children--they will tell you how often I complain that no one in this house thanks me for anything.  Sure, I get the mandatory thank you card on Mother's Day--but really?  How hard is it to notice that I clean up after all of them every single day of every single week, of every single month...ok, you get the point.  I don't even need my husband to buy me a new Mercedes or Jimmy Choo shoes to show me he loves me, all I want is "Hey, thanks for doing my laundry, you're swell!" And my kids, once in awhile, could say, "Hey mom, thanks for cooking my dinner, and cleaning my crap up off the floor all the time, you're the best!"  How about that?  Yep, that would be awesome!

4. I am desperate for some VALIDATION! You would think that this falls under number 2--appreciation- but if you read this post, and watch the little movie on validation, (click HERE), you will see that validation means having people actually treat you with respect, like you have something to offer them, not like you're an idiot because you don't go to work every day, and all you do is stay home with your children. Just because I became a mother, and not a law professor, doesn't mean I don't have a brain in my head, or something intelligent to add to a conversation--although I must admit, whether I have something intelligent to say depends on the day, and probably a little on how much sleep I got the night before (see number 1).  But C'mon, give a desperate housewife a break!

5.  I am desperate for LOVE!  ♥ And I am not talking the pool guy or the UPS man--hello?  In real life, are there really pool guys that are attractive enough that you would want to invite them into your house?  I make sure to lock the doors when mine comes over--the thought makes me shudder...ewww!  Plus, hello?  These women on TV have husbands who are obviously filthy rich, and they are sleeping with the pool guy who makes $10 an hour?  How stupid are these women?  Nope.  I am madly in love with just one man--and he's my husband, and the father of my 6 children!  GASP!  How crazy is that?  My only complaint as a desperate housewife, is that when there's 6 kids, and volleyball, and soccer practice, and activity days and scouts, and piano lessons, and laundry, and work, get my drift, when we finally manage to fall into bed at night we are both so exhausted that half the time one or the other is asleep, and we can barely muster the energy for a goodnight kiss!  If I don't have enough energy for my husband, where are these ladies mustering the energy to get it on with the pool guy or the neighbor? know what's even more awesome?  When you finally DO find the time to "be alone", and then comes the KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, at the door.  Of course.  Welcome to desperation.

6.  I am desperate for a VACATION--(see number 5), enough said.

7.  I am desperate for a MAKEOVER!  I'm not talking botox, or liposuction, or fake boobs either.  Nope,  I am just talking about having time to shower on a regular basis, instead of spritzing perfume in my hair and hoping no one will notice that I haven't washed it for 4 days.  I'm talking about finding a moment in the day to excercise without my toddler throwing crap onto the treadmill for me to try to jump over as I jog.  (That post is HERE).  I'm talking about a manageable hairstyle and clothes that fit (since we already established that I don't run on the treadmill as often as I should).  In trying to take a decent picture of myself for this post, I seriously got about 100 shots with my phone at different angles trying to find an angle that looked decent. Every shot I took, I would look at it and go, REALLY?  Is my nose that big?  Is my double chin really that noticable?  Are my eyes really that squinty?  Sad thing is, when I got ready that day, I thought I looked pretty good!  See what we do to ourselves women?  We torture ourselves thinking we need to look perfect!  You can go back on my blog, and you will find very few pictures of me on here for that reason!  I really need to come to terms with myself and the way I look, and accept me for who I am, extra pounds or not, fat cheeks and all!  I'm thinking the makeover I really need is one that comes from the inside first, and the outside will take care of itself!

I'm sure I could add more--but I think you get the point.  So, you see, I AM a desperate housewife--but this does not mean that I am what the shows on TV say I am.  (Thank Goodness!)  The problem with making a show about an actual, real life, desperate housewife like me, is that people would be bored to tears when they get a glimpse of a normal desperate housewife's life!  Especially one who actually *GASP--takes care of her own children all day long!  Here's the deal:  I don't dress up in designer clothes to go to the store, in fact, sometimes I stay in my PJ's all day.  I don't wear $1000 shoes, I wear my $20 flip flops (and I thought those were expensive--but I splurged on TEVA's since they are so comfy and I wear them year round).  I change poopy diapers (sometimes a few times a day--gross), I am faithful to my husband, and we are a pretty boring couple who spend our Friday nights watching disney movies with our kids and running carpools to get teenagers to and from their activities.  I can't afford Botox, and even if I could, what's the point?  If I hardly get out of the house, who is noticing my wrinkles anyway?  On a typical Monday afternoon, I don my Cub Scout Uniform, and have 8 year olds over for an hour to learn to tie knots and awesome things like that.  When I want to really have fun and get crazy, I stay up late, after all the kids go to bed, and watch my TV shows on the DVR, or sit at the computer and rant on my blog about the latest and greatest thing that irritates the heck out of me, or the crazy things that pop into my mind!  Good times!  No, I'm nothing like the Desperate Housewife, or the Real Housewife on TV, and you know what?  I don't think I'm missing out on a thing! Because THIS my friends, the life that I live, is my reality--and even though I am far from perfect--I think my reality is just fine! My kids should know that NO--being a housewife and a mother is NOT glamorous--but that's not why I signed on for this job!  I signed on for this job, because this family--each of my children--are the most important thing in my life, and if I don't raise them, if I don't spend my time on them, if I don't care for them--who else will? 

In one of my favorite quotes of all time about motherhood, President Hinckley said this:
"You have nothing in this world more precious than your children. When you grow old, when your hair turns white and your body grows weary, when you are prone to sit in a rocker and meditate on the things of your life, nothing will be so important as the question of how your children have turned out. It will not be the money you have made. It will not be the cars you have owned. It will not be the large house in which you live. The searing question that will cross your mind again and again will be, How well have my children done?
If the answer is that they have done very well, then your happiness will be complete. If they have done less than well, then no other satisfaction can compensate for your loss."
Being a "housewife", or a mother, or even more important, being a woman,  is so much more than the false images they depict on a meaningless TV show.  It is so much more important, I think, than I can even imagine sometimes.  What I am doing every day, is helping my children, who have been sent to me on loan from God in Heaven, to return to Him with honor. And in that goal, I need not be desperate--because He has promised that I will have all the help that I need! Thank goodness--because as you can see, I need plenty of help!


Meg said...

We'll put Tami! Loved your insights and point of view! Life does feel desperate at times and with 5 kids and millions of dfferent activities, I KNOW you are pulled in lots of different directions! If u have a chance in the next lil bit for a weekend "quicky" getaway, I'd be thrilled to donate my time a Friday night through Sunday night with your kids. Hubby/wife getaways are sooo important! Let me know, I'm serious. Love, Meg

The Gardiner Gang said...

AMEN!!!!! Its like you took the words right out of my head!!! Also a desperate househousewife of 6 kids!!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...