Sunday, December 11, 2011

Pity Party Weekend...

This weekend, I decided to throw myself a pity party.  It was fun.  I ate lots of chocolate, yelled at some kids, whined a lot, complained a lot more, and generally drove my family a little crazy.  Sometimes, I feel like I have it all together. Those times are few and far between. More often, my life is pretty chaotic (self-induced chaos, more on that HERE, but still), and sometimes, I just lose it.  I feel like I am constantly on my kids, and my husband, to clean the house, to put their things away, to keep their rooms decent, to flush the toilet once in awhile, etc.  I feel like the laundry never actually gets DONE.  I feel like the children always have something extra for me to do, and something else that I forget about.  I feel like there is so much that I WANT to do, but so little that I actually GET to do, since there just isn't time for extra things when you have a large family, and there are so many basic things that need to be done.  Sometimes I feel like my life is like an episode of Groundhog Day, remember that movie?  I just live the same day over and over, and can't seem to get it right, no matter how hard I try!  I guess, in general, I just feel like a vacation.  I told Todd the other day, I would love to find somewhere by a lake where the view is beautiful, but we are snowed in, and can't go out of the house.  I would love to sit by a fire, drink hot chocolate, order room service all day, and just eat and sleep.  Oh, and no kids.  Just for a few days, no kids.  Sometimes a mom just needs some time alone, you know, so that she can realize that someday, it will be just her and her husband, and that someday is not that far off, and then she can go back to those kids with a renewed sense of energy, and optimism, and start Groundhog Day all over again!  Yes, a vacation would be nice. 

During my pity party, I was locked in my room, going through my drawers (my room is messy too, you know--how do I yell at my kids all the time, then go into my messy room and feel good about myself?  I don't know, but I do!) and I found this poem.  It's the first time I laughed out loud all weekend.  It was just what I needed to hear.  A moms life is not glamorous.  I'm not going to lie--sometimes it's drudgery.  Sometimes, I get burned out, and I feel like throwing myself a pity party.  But sometimes, when you try to remember your blessings, (and these children are blessings after all--ask someone who can't have any), you remember that God never meant this job to be easy.  Being a mother has taught me so much about myself, and I see so much of me in each of my children (I am trying to beat it out of them, but they soak up my personality triats none the less--see that post HERE my poor children).  I see that even though I think that they aren't listening, or they don't care what I tell them, they really do hear, (sometimes), and really are trying their best to be obedient (most of the time).  I see how incredibly blessed I really am to have a family that loves me, despite my drama, and weekends like this one.  Most of all, I am grateful that even though my life is like Groundhog Day sometimes, at least my Groundhog Day is generally a GOOD day, one with smiles, laughter, and of course, laundry.  What day would be complete without that? 

Blessed Art Thou Mother
By, Joyce Walby
Blessed art thou Woman, for thou shalt be called Mother.
Yes, and thy chores and thy tasks shall follow thee all the days of thy life.

And thou shalt eat the bread of thine own baking, and thou shalt dwell in a dirty house if thou doest not choose to clean it thyself.

Thou shalt arise before the cock croweth, and thou shalt say unto thine self, "Where are the offspring which were given me?  Yea, the sun has risen high in the sky, and the hour is getting late; therefore, I have been long at my labors."

And thou shalt go and find thy offspring prostrate on their bed.  And thou shalt say unto them, "Haste, arise and shine, for I have many labors for thee to perform, wherefore I have been many hours already preparing the way for thee."

And thine offspring shall linger in sleep and shall say unto thee, "Thou didst not watch the late, late, late show as did we last night, and our eyes are heavy and our bones acheth."

And thou shalt say unto thine offspring, "Get thee up from thy bed, ere I lay my hand upon thee, and go ye hither and scrub a sparkling tub, for thou hast left black rings upon its side."

And thine offspring shall say unto thee, "I will go and do thy a minute."  And thy rage shall know no end, and thou shalt weep and wail, and knash thy teeth mightily.

Nevertheless; thou shalt scrub a sparkling tub thyself and glory shall be added to thee, for thou didst not strike the lazy beast.

Thou are blessed above all others and thy descendants shall call thee blessed, for thou preparest a table before them.  Thou cookest meat, and all manner of tasty vittles and they shall sit at thy table and partake with thee.

And they shall add glory to thy crown, for they shall let thee also wash the dishes, if thou wilt.

And when the night falleth, thou shalt be pooped.  And thy offspring shall say of thee, "She is an old woman, wherefore she neither goes dancing, nor does she stay up to watch the late, late, late show."

Thy art and thy craft shall make thee called on and thou shalt labor at many tasks in the kingdom, for whosoever asketh, thou wilt do his bidding, for thou shant say "No" to any task, lest ye feel guilty.

Thy back shall ache with arthritis, thy cane and thy husband shall be thy support.  Thy veins shall be varicose in thy aching legs, but thou shalt do thy labor with a smile, neither shalt thou gripe, for in the day that thou gripest, thy name shall be mud.

Nevertheless, thou are blessed, O Woman, for thou art crowned with the angels on the second Sunday of May on each and every year.  Oh, what a glorious day!

Wherefore thou shalt be blessed above all others, for thou art Mother, and thou shalt find peace and joy in thy offspring forever and ever...if thou canst just endure to the end.

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