Sunday, September 2, 2012

The Justice System Sucks...(and other thoughts I should not be having on a beautiful Sunday afternoon)...

UPDATE ON THIS POST:  Today I found out that I have a creepy blog stalker in Oklahoma who's been reading my blog.  You want to know how I found out?  They sent a letter to my lawyer.  Seriously?  What a jerk.  Yes, creepy blog stalker from Oklahoma--I share my feelings and my frustrations on my blog. So sue me. Go ahead. P.S. Oklahoma Sooners suck, and I hope they choke like they did last year.  That was just thrown in for good measure.

Warning:  Pity party, hormonal-fueled crazy lady rant, and brutal honesty ahead--read with caution!

This weekend, we got more news on our lawsuit, and *surprise*--the news isn't great.  Actually, we should be jumping up and down, because for 3 weeks now, all we've needed is a signature by a judge on a pending judgement that says we win our case.  But for 3 weeks now, said judge has been to busy, or to tired, or to whatever to sign the dang piece of paper.  Nevermind that for 2 YEARS now, we have been in the middle of this litigation, and every deadline has been met with another, softer deadline (we found out that deadlines, in lawyer speak, are soft, or hard, and neither mean a dang thing), and the people we're suing are thrilled at the pace at which the justice system works.  One of them is a lawyer--so that tells you he went into this knowing what was going to happen--unlike me.  So there they sit, in Allen Funeral Home, the business we built, the business they bought (but never paid for), and here we sit...WAITING.  Waiting for a stupid signature on a stupid piece of paper, that says, what we knew all along, YES, they owe you the money.  So I should be happy, right (my lawyer thinks so)?  But I'm not.

On Friday, we get a letter from the people who bought (but never paid for) the funeral home.  Now, they are interested in negotiating a settlement.  But they don't want to pay me money...NO, they want us to BUY the business back from them.  Now that they are facing a judgement worth over 800K, now that they have destroyed the business that we built--and it is doing fully HALF of the cases we did, now that they have put us through four years of  HELL (not to mention financial ruin), now that we have paid a lawyer for two years to deal with their constant stalling, and evading, now that they are facing a judgement that would put them on the hook at last, and destroy their credit--NOW, they want to sell the funeral home back to us.  You don't want to know what my exact words were when Todd asked me what I thought about the letter.  It had something to do with how they could shove something up somewhere, and it had a lot of 3 and 4 letter words that a nice Mormon shouldn't use, and it really wasn't nice. Certainly something I shouldn't type or think on a Sunday afternoon (but I do). Everytime I think that I have made progress, everytime I think that my heart has softened, (it really has, I couldn't even talk about this a year ago without breaking down), everytime I think that we are finally making some progress on this lawsuit, and there is an end in sight.  Every time, I am disappointed. I am just so tired of all of it, and so tired of the process.

The justice system in this country SUCKS.  It is totally ineffecient, and completely corrupted.  You are at the mercy of a judge or a number of judges, who know nothing about your case, and a lawyer, who gets paid by the hour whether anything happens in your case or not.  In our case, the other side wasn't even paying a lawyer, which meant they could stall or put up road blocks at every turn.  Do you know that in this civil court process, I have actually gained respect for the ambulance chasing Accident Attorney?  At least they have to get results to get paid.  I am just tired of this process, and bitter, and fully aware of the fact that at the end of this horrible ordeal, all I may get is a piece of paper with a judge that we have never met name on it, that says, "Yes, you were right."  Do you know what I have to do then?  Hire ANOTHER LAWYER to go after these people and actually try to collect money from them, which could be another years long process, and an entirely different game altogether.  aaaaaaaaaAAAAHHHH! 

So there you go. People told us these things about the justice system, but we were just naive.  We really thought our case would be different, the contract and purchase note were cut and dry. They were written by a LAWYER after all!  And here we are now, 2 years later, and no closer to justice than we were the day we walked into our lawyers office.  It's absolutely mind boggling, which brings me to my next point, when you go to church or people in your family say, "Trials are there to make us better people." Or, "Everything happens for a reason." Or my favorite, "You will look back on your trial and be grateful for it!"  I heard it in testimony meeting this morning.  I hear it all the time.  Heck, I've said the same thing on this blog--trying to make myself feel better! Your trials make you better, make you stronger, make your testimony grow.  I just sat there today and thought, what in the world are they talking about?  Maybe some trials are just that--TRIALS.  They are not meant to make us better people, or make us more patient, or more kind, or more loving, or more forgiving.  Maybe some trials are just to there to let us know that life sucks! That everything isn't fair!  Maybe some trials have nothing to do with us at all--but are caused by complete jerks that we have no control over! Even with time and perspective, I'm absolutely sure I will never look back on the last two years and be grateful for this trial, except to look back and realize that it finally ENDED--if it ever does-- (and right now, that is not anytime soon).  Do you know what this trial has taught me?  The great, earth shattering life lessons I've learned?  Well here you go--here are just a few:

*Don't trust anyone--and don't trust your instincts about people.
*Sometimes even some decisions you've fasted, prayed about, and gone to the temple to confirm your feelings about can be wrong.
*Don't be naive.  People that are naive get taken advantage of.
*Don't tell people during their trials that "everything happens for a reason", or "you should be grateful", or "at least you're alive, not dead".  It's not all that helpful.  In fact, sometimes it's hurtful.  Some things happen for the reason that people are stupid and make stupid decisions--and they don't need you to patronize them about it.  In fact, sometimes the best thing you can do is say, man, that SUCKS!  Because it does.
*Judges get paid by the state, and they have no reason to do things quickly or efficiently.  No one can question them, so they are pretty much God--and they know it.  I wonder why they feel like they don't need to hurry.  Duh.
*Not every trial makes you a stronger person.  Some of them make you bitter and resentful.  If you're still reading at this point, that is quite obvious.

Now, I apologize if you suffered through that whole post.  Wow, am I a brat or what (and I warned you about the PMS)?  Maybe you think I just have a bad attitude, or I need to be more prayerful, or I just need to go to church, or read my scriptures more.  Never fear, I'm doing all of those things.  Isn't it amazing that even doing all of those things, I sound like Satan's mistress on this post? 

No, I shouldn't be thinking these things on a Sunday afternoon. But I am. I'll just try to keep on swimming.

1 comment:

Ed said...

Oh Tami, I am so sorry this is still being such a nightmare! I wish I could help make it go away. Maybe lunch soon? Love you lady!

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