Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Not my will, but Thine...

Today, I am praying for a friend.  She has many struggles, and despite her young age, faces health challenges that make her life harder, and more painful than I can imagine.  She has been courageous through these challenges, and she has been an inspiration to me, to keep fighting through my own trials, and come out a better person for having lived through them.  In no way can I compare my struggle with hers, but I do feel that God has put her in my path, at this time in my life, for a reason--and for that, I am grateful.  We don't choose our struggles.  Yet, through them, a loving Heavenly Father refines us, humbles us, and changes our hearts.  As I read the Ensign this morning, I was reminded once again of a scripture I have gone back to over and over again throughout the last year.  It is D&C 84:88:
"I will go before your face.  I will be on your right hand, and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your heart, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up."
I have felt those angels, and at moments, I have felt that was the only thing bearing me up.  I know that they will bear my friend up as well, and even through her pain, she will feel them helping her, and crying with her.  There was also a quote from Elder Richard G. Scott, that I found particularly helpful from a talk he gave called "Trust in the Lord".  The whole talk is HERE.  He says:
"Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more (see Prov. 3:11–12). He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain.
We must remember in our trials, that weakness is NOT sin.  Just because we question whether we can face what is asked of us, or when we question whether we are able to handle all that is thrown at us, we must be careful not to get down on ourselves, and not to wonder whether we are worthy of our Heavenly Father's love and help in our weakness. We are human, and that is part of our nature. Even Jesus Christ, the greatest of all, asked God if he would "Take this cup from me" I believe that is because he was part human.  Suffering is HARD.  Almost none of us would choose it if given the choice.  But in the end, he left us with a perfect example of how to conquer our weakness, by saying "Nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt." That was the Godly nature in Him, that understood that without His sacrifice, the whole plan would never be realized.  He did it willingly, for he DID have a choice--and that is amazing to me.  Ultimately, it comes down to trust and surrendering our will to the Father's will.
A few years ago, I wrote a post HERE, called "Surrender".  It was after I had attended a Stake Conference meeting, where I really felt the spirit, and really felt the impression that this was something I needed to work on in my life.  As I look back on my life then, compared to my life now, I can see how in a way, the Lord was preparing me for the challenges I would face, and preparing my heart to change in a way I could not have fathomed before some of the experiences I have had in the last year.  You see, surrendering is easy, I felt, when my life was pretty easy.  When we had enough money, when we had employment, when we had security.  But today, when we have none of those things, surrendering my will to my Heavenly Father's will has taken on a whole new meaning.  It has become a matter of prayer, and a matter of faith, it has become a matter of trust.  It has been a process where I have sure seen my weaknesses, but a process that I think has also strengthened me in ways I could not have imagined.  The last year has been a time of frustration, trial, and hard choices, that we never thought we would be faced with.  But with this trial, there has come a peace into my heart that is almost unexplainable.  With everything falling apart around me, I have felt angels bearing me up.  I have felt the prayers of friends and family.  I have felt the Spirit of the Lord, in my heart, assuring me that I can make it through whatever comes, as long as I trust in a Heavenly Father who loves me, and put my faith in Him.  I am not alone. You are not alone.  And that makes all the difference.

1 comment:

Erin said...

Love it, Love you!

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