Friday, October 12, 2012

Moms Have Feelings Too!... (rerun)

Abby had "Shadow the Student Day" at her junior high today--I couldn't go, (I'm watching my sister's 8 kids this week while they are in Hawaii), but I was reminded of this post, that I wrote 3 years ago when both her sisters had the same thing.  Oh, good times!  HA! Junior high is the WORST--not only for kids, but for parents too.

Moms have feelings too!...

An open letter to my teenagers...
I have 2 girls in junior high this year--Erin in 7th and Emie in 8th grade, and at their jr. high they had "Shadow your Student" day this week. It's on a half day, and parents can come and go from class to class to experience a day in the life of their jr. high student. When we first heard about this at registration, Emie acted repulsed by the idea, and said something like, "I hope you're not planning on coming to school with me mom, that would be really embarassing." I said something like, "Well I'll be sure to come then, and wear my pajamas and curlers in my hair." Erin was equally turned off by the idea, and said--"Well, Dad can come with me if he wants, but not you mom." Emie said, "Sure--I'll take Dad, all my friends think he's funny." Nice. Strike one.

Fast forward a few weeks to this week. Shadow your student day was today for 7th graders and tomorrow for 8th graders. Suddenly, yesterday Erin is begging me to go with her. It seems that all her friends moms are coming, and she doesn't want to be left out of the club. But she proceeds to tell me, "you can come, if I can pick out your clothes for you." Ummm...yeah, that didn't sit too well with me. I said, "no, thank you, I have plenty of things to do tomorrow--and I don't need my 12 year old to help me pick out clothes. Maybe you can ask your Dad." Then she said, "No, dad has a bald spot--that's embarassing..." Ummm...how many of you would have smacked your child right upside the head at that moment, because that's exactly what I felt like doing. Strike two.

Then, so offended because her parents didn't take this kind invitation she had extended, this same child gets on facebook--and posts "my parents hate me..." for all the world to see. Now what the heck is that supposed to mean--ummm...strike three.  After this exchange, Emie comes up to me and says, "you can come to my shadow the student day if you want, mom."  (This child gets it--when all else fails--be a suck up).  Yeah, no thanks.

See, here's the deal. I had parents that worked--a lot. They were both VERY busy. So when I had a game, or a concert, or anything, it was very hard for them to be there. They had to rearrange schedules, find babysitters, find people to work for them, etc. It was hard for them to make it to many of my activities. I really appreciated it, and was grateful when they were there for me. I guess that's why I feel so strongly that I want to be there for everything that my kids do, because it always made me feel so good when my parents were able to make it to my things. On the other hand--I feel like I'm the type of mom who isn't trying to be "cool" or "hip". I don't try to dress like my kids, or talk like them, or hang out with them and their friends. I've been there--done that, and who in their right mind wants to repeat their youth--especially junior high. Yeah, a big no thank you to that one! I try to keep my distance, and let them do their own thing, and be who they are, without interfering too much. I'm just not THAT mom.
That being said--c'mon kids--moms have feelings too. I'm sorry if I threw a little tantrum because you didn't want me along at school today--but it's only been a few months it seems since you were 11 and you actually wanted me to hang out with you. You actually wanted me to come to things. Yeah, a few years ago, you actually liked to do things with your parents and your family. Do you remember? Pardon me if this new allergy to your parents that you've both developed is hard for me to swallow and get used to. I'm not sure when your dad and I became the plague--(or in your language--H1N1). All of that aside--I have decided that I won't put up with the rudeness and sarcasm. There are some things you think and don't say--especially to your parents. Something my dad used to tell me seems appropriate here:
"I brought you into this world--I can take you OUT!"
I love you,
Mom
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