Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Problem with Mary...

So, I was eager to get the children back to school, and back on a schedule--you know, so I could get organized!  Ummm...ya, not my best idea if you know what I mean!  I just got done filling in my new calendar (you know--because I'm SO organized)--with all the STUFF going on this month, and when I got done, I looked at it and thought, "I AM OUT OF MY FREAKING MIND!" 
 Funny thing is, that same day, I got a call from a lady over at the booster's club for volleyball, and she's like, "I was looking through my papers, and it looks like you're one of the only stay at home moms that I have--could you be our team mom this year...I really need someone with a little extra TIME!"  I refrained from laughing hysterically until AFTER I got off the phone--but I just think it's so funny when working moms think that stay at home moms have so much "extra" time on their hands.  Well--some might, but I have this thing called a "two year old" that takes up most of that extra time--and then there's the 5 year old with dance and gymnastics class, the 8 year old with soccer practice/games & Cub Scouts, the 10 year old with dance & cheer classes & piano, activitiy days, the 13 year old with gymnastics & cheer classes & piano, & YW, the 14 year old with volleyball, piano, honors classes, YW, etc., ME driving them around to all this junk--plus Cub Scouts and Activities Committee callings, not to mention hubby with YM callings and campouts every month!  I might be the most horrible team mom they have ever had--but I volunteered anyway (it's a sickness--getting in over my head constantly).  Anyway, this week I have been feeling stressed--and I thought of this post from last year & enjoyed reading it again.  I thought you might enjoy it too...

Okay, so my sisters, my mom, and I went to Women's Conference last year and we went to this class on how to get organized. I'm sitting there listening to this woman go on and on from her well organized outline--bored to tears--looking at her neat little lists that she keeps and all of the chore charts she's lovingly made, and how she keeps her house sparkling clean with her cleaning schedule, etc., etc., etc... You get it. And all the while I'm thinking, are you kidding me--people actually do this???

Then, the lady that was teaching the second half of the class stands up. Not only does she not have a powerpoint presentation, she just has one paper of notes in front of her. She proceeds to tell us that when they called her to ask her to speak on this subject, she almost fell over laughing. Then, when she told her friends about it, they laughed as well. She told us she had no idea how someone as unorganized and scatterbrained as herself was supposed to give a talk on how to get organized.

She proceeded to compare organization to the story about Mary and Martha in the scriptures. She said it was really easy to tell who was a Martha and who was a Mary. If Mary and Martha both receive the same assignment--decorating tables for the ward Christmas party--they would go about it in completely different ways...

Martha would get right on the assignment--after all it is October, and Christmas is right around the corner. She would send around sign up sheets the next week to see who has a creche they would like to display. Of course she would bring her creche as an example--she knows right where it is in her beautifully organized box of Christmas decorations. She would follow up weekly with those who volunteered, to make sure they didn't forget. She would lovingly wash and iron each tablecloth with care and weeks before the event she would be ready to carefully decorate each table. She does a beautiful job, and the tables turn out lovely.

Mary, on the other hand would handle this differently. She gets the assignment in October--but thinks, Christmas is so far away, and I really don't have time to worry about this now, I have to make my child's Halloween costume for the school carnival--which is tomorrow. October, then November come and go with several projects to keep Mary's mind from even thinking about the Christmas party. Finally, 3 days before the party, it dawns on Mary that she doesn't even have a Sunday left to gather creches for the centerpieces, she will have to start calling people... Now Mary KNOWS not to call Martha, or anyone like Martha in her ward. They would be completely annoyed at having to do something at the last minute, and at her not being prepared ahead of time for this event. So she calls other Mary's in the ward that she knows, and when she falls short on the number of creches that she needs, she calls family members, even though they live 30 min. away. (Not all of her family members are Mary's--but family members have to help you anyway--they are related to you). Mary drives all over town to find the creches she needs the day of the party, then spends an hour digging through her own Christmas stuff--(which she just threw into a random box last year because she was in a hurry) to find hers. She hangs the tablecloths in the bathroom to steam them while she showers an hour before the event is to start. Then she shows up at the church, and throws the tablecloths on the tables and is lucky not to break any creches in the mad dash to get them on the tables before Martha shows up to the party--(15 minutes early of course)! She does a beautiful job--and the tables turn out lovely.  (Even though Mary is very sweaty, and has to go in the bathroom and towel off and take a sedative before the party starts).

Okay, so at this point in the talk, I am rolling on the floor--and so are my sisters and my mom (they are ALL Marthas--but they KNOW who the Mary in our family is!)  FINALLY--here is someone who is like me! You see, Martha can't understand why everyone can't just do things like Martha does. And trust me when I say--I have TRIED so many times to be Martha! Mary would LOVE to be like Martha! I have read books, taken classes, printed out lists, and charts from the internet--you name it--and I just can't make it work--it's just NOT my personality! The point that this woman was trying to make, which I appreciated, was that the outcome was the same. As long as you are able to get things done--it doesn't much matter how you get to that point, as long as there is a good outcome.  And let's face it--we all know people like Mary, and we NEED people like Mary when something needs to be done or thrown together at the last minute!

The problem with Mary, however, is that when you wait until the last minute to get things done--your life is just plain STRESSFUL!!! I have a million things to do tomorrow--(well, today now), and now that the day is almost here, I am sitting here blogging because the level of anxiety I am feeling is not allowing for much sleep! I always have these days where I feel like my heart might jump out of my chest because I'm feeling so anxious--(isn't there medication for that??). The other problem with Mary--is that when she's feeling anxious and stressed about something--she might have a tendency to take it out on her family--especially her husband. So honey, I'm sorry. I know it's hard for you to understand how my crazy mind works--and how time and time again I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get things done! I know living with me is crazy, and unpredictable, and chaotic a lot of the time--and I appreciate you so much for putting up with my craziness! I couldn't do this without you!

For those of you who are Mary's--welcome to the club! This was some advice for you at the end of the talk:
1. Write important stuff down on your hand--that way it won't get lost.
I have already blogged about that one! http://6krazkids.blogspot.com/2008/04/frustration.html
For those of you who are Martha's--please have some compassion on us Mary's--we are truly doing the best we can!

1 comment:

Yvette said...

This cracked me up! I'm a Mary too! Recently I had to smile to myself when a well meaning non-member neighbor got upset when I wasn't signing my daughter up for Girl Scouts too. She said well I guess my daughter likes to keep busy. I thought if she only knew with Activity days and piano, church callings and other things. It makes for a busy family fast:)

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