Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Moms have feelings too!...

An open letter to my teenagers...
I have 2 girls in junior high this year--Erin in 7th and Emie in 8th grade, and at their jr. high they had "Shadow your Student" day this week. It's on a half day, and parents can come and go from class to class to experience a day in the life of their jr. high student. When we first heard about this at registration, Emie acted repulsed by the idea, and said something like, "I hope you're not planning on coming to school with me mom, that would be really embarassing." I said something like, "Well I'll be sure to come then, and wear my pajamas and curlers in my hair." Erin was equally turned off by the idea, and said--"Well, Dad can come with me if he wants, but not you mom." Emie said, "Sure--I'll take Dad, all my friends think he's funny." Nice. Strike one.
Fast forward a few weeks to this week. Shadow your student day was today for 7th graders and tomorrow for 8th graders. Suddenly, yesterday Erin is begging me to go with her. It seems that all her friends moms are coming, and she doesn't want to be left out of the club. But she proceeds to tell me, "you can come, if I can pick out your clothes for you." Ummm...yeah, that didn't sit too well with me. I said, "no, thank you, I have plenty of things to do tomorrow--and I don't need my 12 year old to help me pick out clothes. Maybe you can ask your Dad." Then she said, "No, dad has a bald spot--that's embarassing..." Ummm...how many of you would have smacked your child right upside the head at that moment, because that's exactly what I felt like doing. Strike two.
Then, so offended because her parents didn't take this kind invitation she had extended, this same child gets on facebook--and posts "my parents hate me..." for all the world to see. Now what the heck is that supposed to mean--ummm...strike three.
See, here's the deal. I had parents that worked--a lot. They were both VERY busy. So when I had a game, or a concert, or anything, it was very hard for them to be there. They had to rearrange schedules, find babysitters, find people to work for them, etc. It was hard for them to make it to pretty much anything. I really appreciated it, and was grateful when they were there for me. I guess that's why I feel so strongly that I want to be there for everything that my kids do, because it always made me feel so good when my parents were able to make it to my things. On the other hand--I feel like I'm the type of mom who isn't trying to be "cool" or "hip". I don't try to dress like my kids, or talk like them, or hang out with them and their friends. I've been there--done that, and who in their right mind wants to repeat their youth--especially junior high. Yeah, a big no thank you to that one! I try to keep my distance, and let them do their own thing, and be who they are, without interfering too much.
That being said--c'mon kids--moms have feelings too. I'm sorry if I threw a little tantrum because you didn't want me along at school today--but it's only been a few months it seems since you were 10 and you actually wanted me to hang out with you. You actually wanted me to come to things. Yeah, a few years ago, you actually liked to do things with your parents and your family. Do you remember? Pardon me if this new allergy to your parents that you've both developed is hard for me to swallow and get used to. I'm not sure when your dad and I became the plague--(or in your language--H1N1). All of that aside--I have decided that I won't put up with the rudeness and sarcasm. There are some things you think and don't say--especially to your parents. Something my dad used to tell me seems appropriate here:
"I brought you into this world--I can take you OUT!"
I love you,
Mom

4 comments:

Erin said...

SO sorry Tami. I have seen small glimpses of this at our house and I think you did well to restrain yourself from smacking! Way to go!
Go give Jack a kiss because you are still #1 in his book!

Natalie said...

Oh Tami, I am seeing the start of this in my home. Thank you for posting blurbs from your world to help prepare me for the next few years. I agree with Erin, at least Jack still thinks you are the best. I'm sure that is reassuring when you have two junior high daughters tag teaming you.

Heather said...

So much to look forward to! Mercy. I remember as a teen, we had a class where a younger sibling was able to come. I was so excited to have my little brother come (he was like 4 years old). Anyway, when my mom brought him I remember saying "Oh my gosh! What do you have him dressed in? I wish you would have dressed him differently!" I wasn't trying to hurt anyone's feelings, I just wanted my family to be "cool" and have everyone make a big deal over him. It's sad, because what comes out is that you don't approve of your family member. I wish I could go and take that back! Sometimes we say things that we don't realize is so hurtful. It's good to let them know it hurt your feelings but it's a hard lesson to learn! Can't wait until Abbie is a teenager. I'll get a big taste of my own medicine I'm sure! UGH...

Kathy @ Real Mom, Real Life said...

Oh Boy! That teenaged-itis gets even the best of kids, doesn't it. Apparently, there is an actual age that makes it impossible to sit in the FRONT with your parents. Because who would want to be seen sitting NEXT to their mom or dad. Sometimes I wonder just WHY does Heavenly Father trust me with these kids.

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